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I'm becoming an asshole

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Seriously. I think my days of being nice are coming to a close. If I come across as a friendly person to anyone, it's likely a farce.

I'm genuinely annoyed by most people, and want nothing to do with them. I seldom call back my friends, family, or anyone at all.. and I rarely prefer company unless they're of a distinct personality type that's similar to my own.

I don't go out of my way to harm or insult people though, I'm not that bad of a person.. it's just that I have no interest in being friends with most people. I genuinely despise the majority of everyone I meet.. I usually have to 'fake' laughing at their jokes to not seem rude, and when I get into any in-depth discussion with others I'm often labeled as cynical.

As I've grown older, I seem to become increasingly disconnected from the society I live in, and when I do participate in social activity it seems 'forced' or 'fake' as if I'm just acting a character, even if no one else notices. I avoid it as much as possible. The things I'm truly passionate about are usually subjects that most others loathe, and when my true humor comes out it's often too 'sick' or 'offensive' to most people. I'm often misunderstood, and I get tired of explaining myself, so I end up with just a 'fuck off' attitude after awhile.

I don't generalize though, everyone is given a chance.. but I'm done giving second chances. If I don't like someone immediately, there's little compromise. I seem to be much happier with this attitude, and sometimes I even hope I get attacked, just to have an opportunity to physically or mentally hurt the attacker. It hasn't happened in a long time, but I can see myself enjoying a fight.


The biggest loser ever to live.
Sounds perfectly acceptable to me what you have there Syd and I'm sure there's many more with that type of mindset, I myself I think sorta have it and will eventually totally have your type of attitude.
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