I'm better off alone

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by LostInMyDaydreams, May 18, 2016.

  1. LostInMyDaydreams

    LostInMyDaydreams Well-Known Member

    I'm starting not to trust anyone anymore. All my life I've been hurt and betrayed by people. My doctors say I have a mood disorder, this may be true. Than you reach a limit where you get abused, bullied, betrayed, people act mean to you, make fun of you, your own parents don't understand you and your told by people that your a cry baby and a drama queen. When people make fun of me now, I just simply shrug now and think to myself, "heh heard it all before, I'm used to this. I'm used to being treated like this. This is as good as it gets I guess. I should just deal with it and take it and stride, just keep going."

    So that's basically my attitude now. I simply don't care anymore. I'm better off alone. All people do to me is hurt me and cause me nothing but pain. I'm shocked when people are actually nice to me. Anytime I meet them, I get shocked and I feel happy. Than at the same time I think to myself, Once they figure out I'm sad and depressed they'll ignore me and won't talk to me anymore. So don't tell them too much info. Distance yourself so they won't get hurt. I don't distance myself cause I'm afraid of abandonment. I distance myself cause I'm afraid that I'll destroy there life with my problems and sadness. I want to appear happy around them, so I only talk to them when they come to me and if they don't, than they don't. I don't reach out to people anymore cause what's the point?? It's not like anyone can help me anyways. So many people has left me and abandoned me that I simply don't care anymore. That's why it's so much better not to care, that way you won't get hurt. Than anytime I start feeling something. Again I have to remind myself that all people do is hurt me and not to trust people so easily. It's funny when you're depressed and miserable and you reach out to people, than in the end people distance themselves. Once someone asked me, "What do you expect from people?" All I said was support and for them to care about me. Now I'm starting to think "expecting nothing from people" is the best approach. I'm slipping away and I don't even care anymore.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    *hugs* I am sorry that so many people have hurt you. You should not consider being made fun of to be "normal". Can you tell people that you do not like how they are treating you.