I'm bored

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kiriku, Jun 9, 2011.

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  1. kiriku

    kiriku New Member

    I suppose that could be the reason. Though to be honest I just don't feel like giving a shit about anything right now. I've already have fallen off the deep end before, and were it not for my ex (who I might have mentally scarred unintentionally by that event) I wouldn't even be posting here today.

    Granted I do write to vent out my frustrations, and have found success within it, though even as a writer I'm just getting tired of the bullshit that I see around me now. I think its best described Bilbo Baggins described it like "Being too little butter and being spread to too much bread." Perhaps I'm just like Woody Allen's character Gil in Midnight in Paris who suffers from neurotic feelings of nostalgia; escaping to the past because the present is something that's just too hard for me to bare.

    Yet let's face it, it's probably all of the above, I just don't give a flying fuck anymore to really care about it. I'm tired of having to be the protagonist in this story and I've been a background character for too long. Why shouldn't I die, when every day I have the eyes of a living corpse. I digress, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even go through with it, but I tell ya, Rocky had it right. It's not about hitting life as hard as you can, but taking every hit it gives you, but every boxer has a breaking point, where even the best guard in the game will falter to repeated motions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm down for the count, I'm just tired of having to be strong everyday.

    Sincerely not a suicide note,
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    consider your thoughts. you are cool.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I completely understand being bored with life. Trust me I have been hit with similar feelings. You start doing something then think "what is the point? "

    I guess the point that I find in all of my mindless struggling is to keep the depression of regret away. I would rather just be mindlessly doing stuff and say I lived my life. Over sitting around for 10 years and then realizing life passed me by. As you said, I will likely not have the guts to end my life. Just doing something helps to keep the futility of life at bay.
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey Kirku - welcome to the forum.

    As for how you feel right now - I feel bored myself sometimes but try to have things around me that will help me out of that.

    Writing is good - and even if it does not pay the rent now - you never know and I suppose keep on writing is thing. With the internet this is great as we can say what we want - well up to a point. I like going past the that point though - and its landed me in trouble.

    Anyhow, I don't want to hijack your thread with my woes - I'm just saying I understand how you feel. As for getting tired of all the bullshit around - brother - the world is tired of it and maybe if you write about it then people will perk up a little. Like Woody Allen - social commentary is best done with humour lest you are just hated. then again, I'm not saying be a clown for the plebs. Guess its a matter of balancing things.

    Boxing analogies are good - but whilst life is indeed a fight it is also a chance to sometimes take the quiet nights and use them to summon up some kind of creativity.

    Also, I dare-say the summer nights might be more durable if you maybe find yourself another women. Something to ponder perhaps though you may be still nursing a bit of a sore heart from the last lady. And though things never worked out there - she being an 'ex' and all - at least you know the ropes and can find someone else.

    Just make sure you choose carefully.

    Don't let the bastards grind you down!

    Good luck and health.

    Tope things perk up sooner than later.
  5. Ladyoftherats

    Ladyoftherats Member

    Firstly, you are wonderful for quoting Bilbo Baggins, and I'm just going to have to return with a quote from Sam, "There's some good in this world [Mr Frodo] and it's worth fighting for".
    Sometimes you have to live the story for others to eventually write about it for you. And being a protagonist working everything out without a piece of literature to read from is difficult, but ultimately worth it. Every story has difficulties thrown in to overcome and sometimes they all come at once and smack us down, but stamp down all those clutching hands of your past, or difficulties of your present clawing themselves from the earth and if you're in danger of being taken, fight like a wild animal and don't go down without a fight.
    Unfortunately I can't give you the light of EƤrendil to be a light for you in dark places when all other lights go out, but I can sure be that loyal gardener to share the load. Keep your chin up sweetie.
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