I suppose that could be the reason. Though to be honest I just don't feel like giving a shit about anything right now. I've already have fallen off the deep end before, and were it not for my ex (who I might have mentally scarred unintentionally by that event) I wouldn't even be posting here today.
Granted I do write to vent out my frustrations, and have found success within it, though even as a writer I'm just getting tired of the bullshit that I see around me now. I think its best described Bilbo Baggins described it like "Being too little butter and being spread to too much bread." Perhaps I'm just like Woody Allen's character Gil in Midnight in Paris who suffers from neurotic feelings of nostalgia; escaping to the past because the present is something that's just too hard for me to bare.
Yet let's face it, it's probably all of the above, I just don't give a flying fuck anymore to really care about it. I'm tired of having to be the protagonist in this story and I've been a background character for too long. Why shouldn't I die, when every day I have the eyes of a living corpse. I digress, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even go through with it, but I tell ya, Rocky had it right. It's not about hitting life as hard as you can, but taking every hit it gives you, but every boxer has a breaking point, where even the best guard in the game will falter to repeated motions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm down for the count, I'm just tired of having to be strong everyday.
Sincerely not a suicide note,
kiriku
Granted I do write to vent out my frustrations, and have found success within it, though even as a writer I'm just getting tired of the bullshit that I see around me now. I think its best described Bilbo Baggins described it like "Being too little butter and being spread to too much bread." Perhaps I'm just like Woody Allen's character Gil in Midnight in Paris who suffers from neurotic feelings of nostalgia; escaping to the past because the present is something that's just too hard for me to bare.
Yet let's face it, it's probably all of the above, I just don't give a flying fuck anymore to really care about it. I'm tired of having to be the protagonist in this story and I've been a background character for too long. Why shouldn't I die, when every day I have the eyes of a living corpse. I digress, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even go through with it, but I tell ya, Rocky had it right. It's not about hitting life as hard as you can, but taking every hit it gives you, but every boxer has a breaking point, where even the best guard in the game will falter to repeated motions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm down for the count, I'm just tired of having to be strong everyday.
Sincerely not a suicide note,
kiriku