i'm Burning alive

[Fading_Awayy]

hey , i hope everyone is having a good day i want to share my story i've never actully told it to anyone ,
so i'm 18 years old , i used to have faith in this life and i used to trust peaple and see only good in them
so everyone used me and bullied me i hate the fact that i am so weak and dumb and pathetic all these people hurting me and i couldn't do anything about it

i kept doing the same mistakes over and over and then i was raped 3 times 2 of them i managed to run away but the other one ..

it ruined my life i couldnt trust anyone anymore i pushed everyone away, i became very paranoid and now i have 0 social skills i don't know how to make friends or make a normal conversation

i was getting worse and worse with time the bullying continued and my parents divorced and we had some money problems and i became addicted to cutting and i tried to kill myself a couple of times , everything was so f***ed up in my life!

and the amount of pain i feel is just too much i feel like there are knives stapped into my heart and chest i feel like my brain is on fire i feel like there is a monster inside of me eating my soul it hurts so much every breath hurts .. , i sometimes think im crazy like im losing my mind

anyway i tried to make it as short as i can i think that sums it up

, its really cool to share thoughts with people who have been in my place and let things off my chest.

 

[Petal]

Hi there,

Welcome to SF and thanks for sharing your story with us. If it helps just know that I joined here when I was 18 - the same as you after being constantly bullied and even raped. I am now nearly 27 and life has got better. I think you should see a doctor for your suicidal thoughts and if the doctor thinks you need to see a therapist or psychiatrist they will refer you to one.

You are not nothing, you are precious and unique, there is no one in the whole world like you, you are still here fighting what seems like a never ending battle but you will win and come out the other side. I believe in you, you seem strong.

If it helps we have a ''cutters'' group here where you can talk about your cutting and a self harm sub forum. I really wish no harm comes your way again, remember you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, I bet it took a lot for you to post what you posted here.

Good luck to you and I'm always available for a chat (well most of the time)