Im close to finish this shit...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by verywell, Nov 10, 2009.

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  1. verywell

    verywell New Member

    Boy, 20.

    I honestly didn't think I'd ever write a post on this forum, but here I am, shouting out my feelings. Oh well, here goes nothing...

    I have some psychologial problems? Im currently a student (college) and is considered amongst the good-looking ones at the school, which in turn, means the popular ones. However, due to some unforseen happening I am now close to commit suicide. I attended a party and got really drunk. Practically sleeping someone shaved away my hair on my head which is a very important part of my life (I fucking love my hair, and I had long hair!). Tomorrow, when I attend school I'll probably recieve like 1000+ comments about my hair and how ugly I look.

    I don't want to live with no hair, and gradually short hair for 6 months. I am the kind of person who always needs "confirments" about my looks. And as I said, I have some big psycologial problems and reacts to such things as this.

    Today I pretended being sick and was home from school. I have cryed all day long. Ye Im a fucking pussy on the inside. Pretending to have insanly high confidence at school is finally fading away...

    I have a plan and I KNOW it will work. What can stop me?

    I WILL UPDATE THIS POST AFTER SCHOOL TOMORROW! I CAN DO 1 MORE DAY...
     
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey :) welcome to the forum

    im sorry this happened to you and i understand that you must be very unhappy and upset at the moment. at the end of the day your hair WILL grow back. i lost a lot of mine in the past for medical reasons and its not easy. i now have a full mop of very curly hair! also, the person that everyone knows is YOU, not your hair.

    im sure that it will be difficult the 1st day that everyone sees you without your hair but i guarantee that they will be used to it very quickly. in the meantime feel free to talk here on the forum and in chat. we can offer you support and friendship :hug:

    ellie
     
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I'd like to say your luckier then my mate at school....he got drunk and someone(probly his brother) shaved his eye brows off...lol he copped a lot from that :laugh:.
     
  4. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Hiya,

    Your hair does not define you. I can somewhat relate. Your hair was like a comfort blanket to you, like a safety thing that made you feel good. My car was that exact thing to me. Id hop in my car (a cool car) and i was a different person, i was sexy, rich and noone could put me down because of this car. My car was stolen 3 weeks ago and the insurance didnt cover it. Im now in a banger and i feel like shit, i dont have an escape when i feel down, i dont have that sexy untouchable feeling. This sounds pretty stupid cause its a CAR but i can buy another can when i save you, just as your hair will grown back.

    Personally I love skin heads ;) so you might find that the attention isnt all that negative.

    Stay with us and keep posting - let loose and let the frustration inside OUT! You will come on here feeling angrya dn wanna vent and when you do and when people reply. you'll be amazed at how quickly your mood can change. I came here yesterday in a serious downer and left on a mega high!!!! Hope the same happens you.

    Good luck tomorrow - just be strong. :)
     
  5. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey verywell,

    I'm sorry you're feeling so lowly about this. It's funny how one small little thing can set off a number of feelings you've been bottling up over the years. I can definitely relate to that. The important thing to remember if you do hear some comments, is that most of them are meant positively. I know though how difficult it is to separate the playful comments from the nasty ones.

    Just to give an example, I have this friend who constantly mocks me about various things. It took me quite a while to figure out that he was really joking ALL the time. Sometimes, especially when I was feeling down, it really seemed as if he was putting me down. I even spoke to him about it once, and I'll never forget the look on his face. He also suffers from depression from time to time, and he had this horrified look on his face because he suddenly realized how I perceived his comments. He couldn't stop apologizing after that, and neither could I for misreading his intentions.

    Sometimes its best just to embrace the comments, and make fun of it yourself. But I know, that is much easier said than done. But as you said, this is definitely temporary, don't worry about what people are saying. Rather work on the underlying issues that you talked about.

    Anyways, all the best.

    Max
     
  6. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Well, how did school go???
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I can well relate to your predicament.. I had long blonde hair that was bleached from the sun so it was almost white.. Well one night when I was at camp during the summer someone put green food coloring in my hair.. It didn't wash out so I had to walk around with green hair.. Then when I got home I had to cut it all off.,.But you know what I survived and my hair grew back..I never did find out who did it..
     
  8. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Yep understand where ya coming from had me head shaved 3 times and yep was pissed same deal love me long hair but it will grow bck trust me i know its hard to wait but it will but die no second chance
     
  9. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    Yep. I'm gonna tell you. Everyday I want to end it. But there's something. I'm young, I'm 29, how old are you? I tell myself , fuck, what I lived the worse and will live the better then, one year? Nearly 30 years of pain, and still standing. You can do far more and better than you think. You can be here tomorrow, talk to us, or me. I will never tell you you're wrong, because I dont' know. Just, that, maybe, sure, even, you're gonna miss things.
     
  10. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    it will grow back and it will take some real getting used to. i had hair that was right the way down my back and then went bald for charity. ok yes it was my choice but i regretted it quickly and refused to show people what i had done. then it came to going back to school and it was like moving schools cos there were so many new people. i was judged and avoided, some assuming i had cancer and some thinking i was a lesbian. i took it hard. but then my confidence grew and all of a sudden i didn't care what they thought anymore and i didn't hide what i did.

    it will take time but you will get used to it. my hair is now shoulder-length and i'm ok with it.

    :hug: take care
     
  11. verywell

    verywell New Member

    Im fine so far...;)

    Better reactions than expected.
     
  12. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    your just a Hunk ;)

    Long hair or short hair!!
     
  13. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear it!
     
  14. verywell

    verywell New Member

    Update!

    I have got long hair again. Im so glad I didn't do it :)
     
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Glad to hear that your long hair has grown back. But yeah, killing yourself over getting your head shaved would have been a huge mistake. Glad you decided to keep going.
     
  16. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I'm so happy you feel better. That makes me so happy too. YOU ARE GREAT!!!!
     
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