I'm confused.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Entity, Jul 8, 2011.

  1. Entity

    Entity Well-Known Member

    I can't stop thinking about this one person, i haven't really talked to them in a full year now, stopped all contact with them. But they were my first real love and for some reason i can't get over it. I have weird dreams about this person. But they don't ever differ, it's been the same dream since when we were still dating and i don't understand it. But this person hurt me ridiculously bad, but at the same time i'm so much stronger now than i ever was before. But it's almost like if i got to talk to this person again I'd feel like we were still best friends, like nothing bad ever happened between us. But i have to take back and realize what really happened. Can't even talk to my friends about it, because no one wants me to even think about this person. But for whatever reason, i can't help it. It's worse with this reoccurring dream. I've kept so many letters and the jewelry i received. I keep thinking maybe if i get rid of those i'd get over this person for real. But i can't seem to let go of them. It's like i know this person hurt me past being able to forgive, but it's almost like i don't even recognize they're bad for me. I don't know what's going on with my head, I miss them terribly. I know they miss me too, but i think it'd mess with both of our lives if i did anything about it. My therapist used to tell me all the time how bad this person was for me, but i never wanted to listen. And even still i don't want to listen. I'm not sure if it's because i'm not supposed to leave this person shut out of my life, or if it's just because i'm too immature yet to fully realize the true hurt in having this person in my life. I'm so confused and not sure what is right from wrong entirely in this situation. I know none of you will be able to give me a true response either, but this would be one of those situations i really wish magical wands worked.
     
  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    This person never meant to hurt you. Things would definitely be different if they lived near eachother. Long distance relationships are extremely hard, and living close to someone can change everything. You don't have to get rid of the notes and jewlrey the person got for you, sometimes you need to hold on to the moments you never want to forget. And I know for a fact that this person cherished every minute with you. It's a confusing situation since it was your and this persons first true love, and nothing will ever change that. This person misses you so much but remember everything happens for a reason. I'm positive you are still an angel to this person.