I'm confused.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Psycho96, Jun 29, 2012.

  1. Psycho96

    Psycho96 Member

    All my life I've been straight, never felt a doubt about it. But it all started a few months ago. I'm a very cold person, I've always had few friends and rarely give a hug or tell someone I like them. But I have to recognize that I've love my best friend all my life, she's everything to me and the only person I can trust on. But... Suddenly, I started to love her (We both are female) in another way, I like her, I want to stay with her forever, to kiss her. I'm falling in more than a best friend's love. I thought she was the only girl I loved that way but nowadays, I see girls different. But I like boys too. I'm not sure if I'm confusing my love to my best friend and is just friendship. I don't know if I should tell her I'm bisexual and all my feelings. I don't know what to do, because the problem is that she's straight and sees bisexual people like sexually confused people, I don't want her to see me like that.
     
  2. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    Hello there,

    This situation is similar to something that happened to me.
    A friend of mine (A guy and I am a guy too) fell in love with me..
    I already knew him for like 8 years back then, and we always were together.
    For him it was VERY hard to tell me about his actual feelings.
    And I knew if I would walk away from him, it would hurt him so much,
    and well.. we were best friends, and best friends do not want to hurt each other.

    So I am saying;
    If this friend who you really seem to like/love is your best friend or just a REAL good friend,
    she will respect it.
    I am not saying that she would want a love relationship with you or anything, but she would accept it that you have got feelings,
    it's not like it's really your fault or anything anyway, feelings come and go.. We do not bestir them ourselves.
    ( I am very sorry for my bad English here, I just woke up. )

    I really hope that it will work out somehow, I wish the best for you!
    Take care. :)
     
  3. hunter77

    hunter77 Member

    my situation is kinda simular i mean i am straight but atleast three of my friends turned into my best friends and then they came out and told me they wanted to have sex with me :/ i mean i didnt want to but i didnt wanna hurt their feelings cuz they were my best friends. then two of them told me they loved me and it was akward being around them but i mean i was curious...everyone is these days
     
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I think the thing to realise is that there are different words for 'love' that each have their own meaning. The Greek words are storge, phileo, agape and eros, and they all mean certain attributes that in english there is only the one word for, which is love.

    This might help to clear up the confusion you feel. Eros is sexual love, agape is self-sacrificial unconditional, spiritual love, phileo is platonic, respectful friendship love, and I will have to look up the 4th cos I've forgotten, :)

    We can love someone very deeply out of respect and agape love, but that doesn't mean, nor should it, that we want to go to bed with them for sex.

    But, if ppl won't or can't differentiate, the "inevitable" often happens, and not always with a good outcome as once that route is chosen, it alters things.
     
  5. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    I don't know whether its the same, but reading your posts makes me think about myself and how I feel about the people I love.

    I consider myself straight, but 'open' to homosexual relationships. Because when I love and care about someone, it can get quite intense, and I can feel like I'm really in love with them. When this happens, I could become sexual with them no matter what their sex, but I know that that stems from my feelings and their personality rather than a place of sexual attraction. I ususally keep it quiet and try not to over-think it. Much the same as if I had feelings for a man who I knew wasn't interested in me like that.

    If you need to say it to have it said, or to have it heard then I agree with Haikeru, and most people will be flattered and will not judge you, even if they are not interested like that. However, if you want to have it reciprocated, then I would suggest that if you know it will not be that you might be better off accepting that and redirecting your thoughts elsewhere.

    Which is, soooooo much easier said than done, I know. I don't know whether I will have helped you. Its just my 2p. Good luck.x