I'm considering hospital. Does it help?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chocolate Heartache, Mar 10, 2012.

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  1. Chocolate Heartache

    Chocolate Heartache Active Member

    I'm really struggling, and I'm wondering whether being in hospital might help, or whether that's a bad idea.

    Two nights ago I tried, and failed, to hang myself. I don't know really what went wrong, I dangled until I passed out, and I woke up on the floor. I haven't come up with a better alternative, and I just don't know what to do now.

    1. I could keep trying and failing to kill myself, until either something works, or I end up even more disabled than I am now.
    2. I could try to carry on living, but that tends not to last long before defaulting to option 1.
    3. I could go into hospital. I've never been inpatient, and I have no idea how it would help, but it's the only thing I haven't tried, and nothing else is working.

  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I think that different things work for different people. Just as some people like Coke while others like Pepsi, you have to try both before you know which one you prefer. That being the case, if you have not tried the hospital... then you can't know if it will help or not. Consider it on the same level as the soda and give it a try and see. It might be exactly what you need, or maybe not... but you cannot know until you experience it. You may think you are failing in your attempts, but if you don't try every other avenue to survive, then that is the true failure. Don't fail, give it a try.
  3. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Hi there Chocolate Heartache, things must be really bad for you right now, I am sorry, is there a crisis team you can call and possibly speak to someone, do you take meds. sorry I dont know much about you , but I am glad that it didnt work, there have been so many times I have tried and for some reason i failed, I dont know what resources you have, and where you live. I have had some hard times in hospitals, Im not crazy about them, but if you feel that it will be a safe place where youu wont have access to do anything maybe it will work, how are the hospitals where you are? if you try to hang your self you might realy hurt yourself/disabled, I am sorry I dont have good answers, if you stay out of the hospital, you can still stay connected here and maybe things will turn around . hang in there
  4. glenne2000

    glenne2000 Member

    Hi Chocolate Heartache,

    I am new here and I understand the mental anguish you're going through having been there myself. I have been in the hospital three times right after suicide attempts. Of course the first one is a shock, but I think it is important to get the help you need and it is not a weakness to ask. You know your family better than I do, but I was surprised how helpful and understanding they were once they knew. For them it was their first experience with someone with mental illness (that they were aware of, of course, but we are so good at hiding ourselves), and I found them to be supportive and understanding. I think you will find the help you need in the hospital, but only you can decide that; it's just my opinion from my own experience.

    You need to understand what will happen there: no shoelaces, no sleeping with doors closed, awakened frequently to make sure you're OK, no privacy, and maybe you will not like some of the other patients there since you WILL see the whole spectrum from grannies to crack addicts. The psychotic or dangerous patients will be in a different ward, so you should feel somewhat safe; others may have different experiences. On the good side, you will get a chance to reconsider things, adjust to new medications, hear others share their own experiences. Please, if you don't think the hospital is right for you, then fine but get help from someone. Let someone you can trust understand what you're going through, people do care about you. Good luck.
  5. Chocolate Heartache

    Chocolate Heartache Active Member

    Posting from the hospital. First 24 hours were rough, I was on 1:1 observations which is very strange for me, normally I live alone and if I'd had any intention to harm myself overnight I wouldn't have admitted myself! They've now switched me to a different unit, I'm allowed my phone (which is where I'm posting from) and although I'm on regular checks, it's much better than being 1:1 and I feel a lot better for having a nice shower - I was starting to smell, because I didn't want to shower being watched by staff, so I was just using facewipes.

    Thank you for the support, I feel like I'm trying to help myself.
  6. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I am glad to hear that your getting the help you need, I hope it all works out well for you and its cool that you are able to stay in touch, I hope you continue to post when you can , let us know how things are going. good for you.
  7. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    Been there done that. Did it help me? Yes and no. 3 months of group therapy, pills, professional therapy did little to change my suicide behavior. I am still monitored by a psychologist on a outpatient basis. There is some aspect to it that I liked. Mental ward was sort of a place for me where time seemed to stand still. I wasn't affected by worries of life and I felt like I was in a whole different world. Be careful though because there could be lurking some wackos who might physically harm you. Pay special attention to your fellow "cellmates".
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Dear CH I'm glad you're in Hospital you have nothing to fear and lose my friend I mean it could be the change you desperately need and deserve.I know the initial first day and the days beyond are the hardest but once you get settled it will be cool for you.You'll have help at hand and don't leave until you're much better really it's the best thing you could do and tell them everything at least that way you'll get monitired properly.I could tell you my experiences I would say it did and didn't help me to be honest there are positives and negatives but most important you have care around the clock and it could really benefit you.
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    With your background and experiences, this must be both liberating and awful...do take good notes, so that you can either write about the experience or do something to change the system when you are well...until then, be selfish...get all you can and know that you did what you had to so that you are safe...as it is said, one small step at a time...I am prone to overwhelm myself, so I have learned in difficult situations to take on only what I can...there are many people here to support you, so please call upon us to be there for you...PM me if I can help
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Take all you can ok hun as said try to make the best out of the stay there. You are doing something for YOu hun and i hope you feel better when you are released
  11. fake.smiles92

    fake.smiles92 Member

    I went on a hold after a suicide attempt. It was the worst yet best thing that ever happened to me. It truly sucks while you're in there. But once you're out you think, "wow, I CAN get better." but like some said above me, it is different for everyone. I look back on it as an experience that helped me in the long run. I got diagnosed with what I had and I began meds. It was a turning point in my life.
    I hope this helps... :)
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