If I die i'm sending my father to an early grave. My family will be torn apart they hardly survived my last attempt and they don't even know the reason I did it was cause I'm ashamed of being Schizotypal or as my mother has unknowingly called it "abnormal". I feel wartorn,my soul battered and bruised, my mind in ruins. And all I can think about is dying... How I'll do it who should find my body whether or not to even bother writing a suicide note. I'm not worth loving, never have been never will.