I'm crying everyday

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vanillalight, Jan 27, 2010.

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  1. vanillalight

    vanillalight New Member

    If I die i'm sending my father to an early grave.
    My family will be torn apart they hardly survived my last attempt
    and they don't even know the reason I did it was cause I'm ashamed of being Schizotypal or as my mother has unknowingly called it "abnormal".
    I feel wartorn,my soul battered and bruised, my mind in ruins.

    And all I can think about is dying... How I'll do it who should find my body whether or not to even bother writing a suicide note.

    I'm not worth loving, never have been never will.
  2. notafraid

    notafraid Member

    dont give up just yet. life is diffucult even without a mental disorder so i can understand how hard you have it. sometimes i feel like i have a few symptoms of schizotypal. the social anxiety, freindlessness and thinking differently are all familiar to me. if you feel you need to vent you can message me any time
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey you can still live a normal life with the right medication. My sister worked 25 years in the army and was diagnosed with it. Get on the right medication and get stable okay life can be as normal as you want it to be. Do not give up hope not without trying the different medication out there for your illness.
  4. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    Do you want to wish that on your family? Do you want to hurt your family?

    If you feel youself on the edge of insanity, perhaps it's time to get admitted and get help for your pain. Dying is not an answer and you already have a head start to recovery if you take the option. And thats a loving family that can support you since they do care.
  5. spyke

    spyke Well-Known Member

    phew schitotypal was a new one on me so i looked it up and here's the criteria for the personality disorder

    1. Ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference)
    2. Odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g., superstitiousness, bizarre fantasies or preoccupations)
    3. Unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions
    4. Odd thinking and speech (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped)
    5. Suspiciousness or paranoid ideation
    6. Inappropriate or constricted affect
    7. Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar
    8. Lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
    9. Social anxiety that tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self.

    now here's what I think of the above :D

    1:ummmm i can't make sense of this XD

    2:so you're spiritual or believe in things that aren't explainable by cold logic or science

    HARDLY something to class you as abnormal for

    3:must be kind of scary sometimes :(

    4:so basically this means you're eloquent? or a little different in your speech....again i'd class that as interesting rather than abnormal

    5:just because you're paranoid DOES NOT mean they're not out to get you XD just as long as you don't go too far with it a little caution is healthy

    6: ummm another one i can't make sense of :S

    7:there is no such things as peculiar only unique :) those with the lack of insight to see this are truly sad

    8:not anymore :D welcome to the forum :D please spill your guts and watch how everyone jumps up to help you with heartfelt honest concern :)

    ps. they make relatives sound like serious burns here don't they XD

    "doctor i'm afraid there's nothing we can do for you see these are.......FIRST DEGREE RELATIVES....... i'm afraid they will never walk again and need skin grafts"

    9:meh again we all can feel daunted by the world and it's a scary place it's nothin to be ashamed of

    but please tell us how you feel your disorder affects you :)

    is there something maybe about it that bothers you or is it just that you actually have a disorder?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2010
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