everyday i tell my mom i want to kill myself. everything we talk about i turn into negative i take my pills. i write everyday on how i feel. i go for walks. i listen to soothing music. i have tried everything to help myself. nothing is helping anymore. i told my mom for winter break i wanted to stay in the hospital. she said no because she would miss me and i would hate it. i know thats true but i need to get better. i want them to take tests on me to see if there is something wrong with my stomach. thats why im depressed everyday. i feel sick to my stomach everyday and throwing up is my worst fear so it controls me all day and everyday. it never used to be this bad. its getting so difficult that i really dont want to live anymore. well i want to live but not like this. so the thing is i tell her everyday i want to die. i cry to her everyday. i tell her everything and she still hasnt done anything about it. today she told me she is scared everyday to wake up because she thinks im gonna be dead. doesnt that mean something? doesnt that mean i need more help than you can offer?