i have read some of the posts with interest and i know we all probably think we're different and no-one understands us...but im sure no-one understands me...because I'm simply CURSED...I've never EVER had good luck...everything goes wrong for me and everytime I think it can't get worse, it does! for instance losing my job would be bad enough but what happens to Gra? (thats me obv)...i lose my own business n job, the girl i love with all my heart and was going to ask to marry me the next week (she left me) 2 relatives and was made bankrupt...now at 24 i have nothing and every day since Kate has left me all I have thought about was her...we talk...and she doesnt want me...she said she wanted out more or less the day after we split...im suicidal and the only person who can save me is kate...she IS the one...we were made to be...and the only reason we aint back together is she gave up trying and another bloke moved in for the kill and she's now with him...I'm ugly and i lost a lot of my hair when i was 18 and its STILL falling out now...now in the last week its going white and i just wanna die...people TELL me I'm ugly and i know i am...no1 likes me...even a slag i know doesnt wanna get with me...and she has got with everyone else i know! Im a hermit and no-one even notices me...a few months back i stayed in the house for two weeks without going out ONCE and no-one even noticed or said anything! i am a bit stalker-ish with ex gf's and i can sense i'm now starting that with kate...i love her to bits and i don't wanna hurt her anymore...she's told me she's in a state worrying about me and i just want toend it all...my family would be richer without me, Kate wouldnt be scared and everyone would have less hassle...im also a jobless bum, so the state would benefit too...dunno why im posting this...just wanted to rant...
i am in no RUSH to die...i dont really care...im dead inside and have been for several months now...i just want to end it sometime soon but am afraid id fuck that up too! so thats why im in no rush...but i DO want to die
life with kate is unbearable and literally SEVERAL times a day and EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for 9 or so months i lie awake thinking about her
As hard as this may sound, I think you should do all that is possible to let go of her. I had a good friend and it was similar to this, I felt strongly about her and it wasn't mutual. When she made this clear to me and stopped talking to me whatsoever, I almost collapsed. It was bad, I also didn't want to live anymore, didn't want to feel anymore, thought about suicide, tried once. I hated myself, I despised myself. I didn't have many people to talk to, and I know what it's like to be ignored and alone.
I am sorry if this offends you but I feel I need to tell you- even if you feel you are alone and that no one can help you, Someone can. God loves you so much that He sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for you. He created you in His likeness and in His image. He wants to help you carry these terrible burdens that are on you. He wants you to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.
Please. If you haven't done so already put your faith in Him and ask Him to help you with this. He loves you and you are precious to Him.
You are not a loser. You are a person created in God's likeness and image. You deserve dignity and respect and love.
My feelings of intense grief and loss for my friend and my self-hatred and grief are gone, but this really happened when I fell to my knees and asked Him to take away this pain, that I could not carry it anymore. I still miss her, although far less now. I have let go, but I needed Him to help me let go.
I will keep you in my prayers and if you want to talk, my email is
[email protected]