im damaged goods

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by emma.pink, Oct 7, 2010.

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  1. emma.pink

    emma.pink Member

    i was abused by a family member from the age of 6 until i was put in care at 15, i didnt tell anyone for years, i thought they would think it was my own fault and i deserved it or that this family member could do something worse, even when i was in care i couldnt tell anyone, i was 22 the first time i told someone and all i could get out was 'i was abused' and that was it, i feel i need to talk about it in more detail but the words wont come, its affected my friendships and relationships as i struggle to trust people afterall it was a member of my family that i should have been able to trust to look after me that has made me this way, i cant have a partner because i am damaged goods
     
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry this has happened to you.

    Are you seeing a therapist?
     
  3. emma.pink

    emma.pink Member

    i have a psychiatrist but they only know bout the physical abuse not the other, the only people that know about the other is 2 of my friends one of who was abused herself and they dont know which family member or anything just that it was sexual and i cant talk about it
     
  4. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Do you think you might be able to share this information with your psychiatrist?

    Perhaps, if it's too difficult to say to their face, a note. I find the harder things that i am unable to say, i can write down and give to my therapist and it's a bit easier.

    I just think that they will be able to help and you cope with what's happened and talk about how to overcome the realtionship problems you have to deal with as a result.
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Right Em, the first thing you need to do is tell your therapist, they probably know all ready.
    This happened to me at 6 as well and I didnt tell a soul for 7 years.
    NOW, you are not damaged goods! you are suffering from guilt and horror at what happened...tell your therapist, get it all out, then put it where it belongs; back with the perpetrator.
    YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE GUILTY FOR!!! :hug:
     
  6. emma.pink

    emma.pink Member

    i never thought about writing it down for psychiatrist, i might try giving that a go, although it feel a little awkward as my pschiartist is male and dont know if would be comfortable with him reading it
     
  7. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Yes, it won't be comfortable, but just focus on the goal, the get better.

    Your psychiatrist would be trained to deal with this. However if you don't feel conmfortable with a male. Perhaps you could get a referral to see a woman, if that's easier for you.
     
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni


    then give it to him at the end of the session, that way he reads it while you've made good your escape.
     
  9. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Your not damaged goods sweetie. I was a stripper for years and every girl friend (as in friend that is a girll) I had ever met had been through what you have. It is hard but freedim comes from within. Forgivness is the only effective advice I can give. I can only forgive b/c of my love and understanding of Yahweh and his word. He opened my eyes to everything and has helped me overcome many things. You could go my route or you could do some soul searching and find your own, either way dealing with these issues are more productive than not in my experience. I am here if you need to talk. Blessings..
     
  10. Doxic

    Doxic Member

    I had almost the exact same situation. Ages 5 -16. I've thought the same things, said the same words exactly. It's hard, but we can do this. We can pull through it and re-establish ourselves as functional people. I've tried to live by facing my fears. Go out, and make connections. It will be hard, and it will hurt at times, but you'll pull through. You are such a strong person! You've made it this far! You are capable! You are valuable! You are amazing!! Writing is an excellent suggestion. Any way that you get it out instantly makes you feel so much better. It's like a drain plug pops out somewhere and a lot of the bad just goes flooding out, and you can then breath again. It may not be easy to say it, but know that you have faced a lot darker than words, an you pulled through. You are resilient. You are worth so, so, so much to this world and you will one day be able to feel that value yourself. I have faith in it. :)
     
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