Im dead anyway might as well make it official

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nazza, Apr 20, 2008.

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  1. Nazza

    Nazza Guest

    Ive had enough. Ive been fightin on for so many Fukn years. Im 2 much of a helpless useless waste of space to be here. Ive been thinking bout downin all my pills, <Mod Edit: methods> like dad did but i jus wanna take all da pills, <Mod Edit - methods>. Yea, im so Fukn scared. Cos Ive tried an tried! I've done a tribute for my kids. An letters. They hav 1000's of vid's an pics of me. Sick an tired of bein told in everyway but, that im no good for my kids cos i been housebound for 11yrs wit panic disorder an tried in vain2fix it. I wanted2show the 20+ sick rapists-abusers i could make it. Wanted to break chains of my Fukd sick upbringin. But i cant. I feel so empty, nothin there. I miss out on my kids. Dey betta off livin! Not tied down wit a Fukd mum. Sick o these 4walls! Dis cramped house, da Fukr who killed my daughter livin 5-10mins drive from my house livin it up. I been thru therapy, got told to forget past an move on. . Yea, ok dickhead! Sure! Like i can control da Shit! I written down wat i want to b done wen i die. Im scared. Gotta admit. No sugar coatin it. . I dun wanna leave but to stay i'll jus be wantin2leave everyday as always. Slashin up dun work 4 me no more. I jus wanna lay my worn head, cut off my long hair in a plait for my girls to keep, an go to sleep. Dey will b at daycare by time im found. It Fukn kills me to think of dem not havin me. I love em wit all dat beats in my chest, but sick of bein hinted at dat im basically not fillin my duty as a mum cos i cant take em out! An do all dat. Maybe if i go they hav it all. . Im heartless if i stay an drag em down with me an deny em a mum to do Shit out in da world wit but im heartless if i leave them motherless! Ppl jus dun stop wit their Shit! I so want out. Take it easy all. An Fuk da world! Fuk society! Fuk da Shit! Fuk hollywood! Fuk da Shit! Tha song leave out all da rest by linkin park4me
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2008
  2. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    read my lastest pm nazza.

    fisrstly it dosent matter what state your in your kids need you.

    please dont do anything. im gonna pm you my phone number and i want you to call me we can make things a little bit better. you dident have nayone to talk to but now you do.
     
  3. Nazza

    Nazza Guest

    Weegee I cant call, he is here an will take me callin u as cheatin. He dun really think i'll do it. He tried talkin wen HE felt lik it after ignorin me all day, tried kissin me an Shit lik always, dat all meant to make it betta. If i call'd u it wouldn b dat im gonna 'do myself in' it woul b an excuse jus to 'cheat' Fuk, i neva cheated on him or anyone. I was cheated on! He hurts. I dun wanna say all bout him on thread, but u know wat i told u, i gotta go. . Either make me or break me. . Gonna sleep in my daughters room. The2yr ol one dat died, its full of angels an pretty things. Maybe she be there wen i Fukn die. Dunno. . Thanks for everythin hey
     
  4. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    dont even think about it. it dosent matter what he thinks by the sound of it. you need to stop dping what he says and stick up for yourself. i know you just want to give up and take the easy path(whihc isent so easy) but dont. stop listening to him and do the childish thing and do pretty much the opersite of what he asks. make a radical life change(including your personality and outlook on life) he wont expect it and it might help you. you will see soon enough that he isent worth much. so do phone me and when he asks you if you where cheating or accuses you dont deny it or just say soething like "he's in england you idiot". the point is you dont have to take shit from him. hes like that because he dosent want to lose you so make him see if he dosent change he will lose you.

    sorry for the long winded speach but you need to get out of their.

    any girls reading this thread that are is the land of auz(i crack myself up) please pm nazza she like all of us needs a freind.

    takeing a agresive stand point can be risky but you dont have many options left.

    i wish you the best of luck and i hope you take my advice(at least phone me)
     
  5. Nazza

    Nazza Guest

    Hey, im back, i took enough pills to knock myself out, felt so sick. I was in Nikayla's room an i think she was there. I still want to go. I am not right in the head. Im a Fukn loser.
     
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