I'm dead seriously needing desprete help

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by neon666, Nov 1, 2006.

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  1. neon666

    neon666 Active Member

    I'm not sure what 2 put this under but i sure am addicted to something
    so...how do i say this..?
    have u ever felt like...u've done LIFE?
    like theres nothing else left 2 do and u've been there, done that, it all sucked
    like for me
    at the moment i dont have ONE friend i've been friends w/ until this year.
    cuz all my friends from last year dont care about me anymore
    its been this way forever
    i've been thru everything i feel like
    sex,drugs,ppl.
    i feel like i cant be friends w/ sum1 anymore bcuz
    #1 i have soo much social anxiety which makes me boring as FUCK
    #2 because i have 2 high of expectations
    #3 becuase im scared of getting deserted ONCE AGAIN
    and
    #4 becuase i only wanna b firneds ow/ ppl or go out w/ ppl who do drugs and shit like wtf is wrong w/ me?!
    y am i being this way?
    um possible cuz my bff desrted me for a buncha preps WE used 2 make fun of togheter
    if i hadnt been thru all this pain i'd b so happy and toally myself
    life was so easy when i was younger
    im sry but i need major help
    im always trying new things but they never make me happy
    i havnt been happy in FOREVER
    like reallly, truely happy
    please help im begging you
    its at the point where i just wanna be locked up in my room 4ever
    or not even that
    ...ugh
     
  2. yeah. when you reach the 'end of the line' like this the only thing to do is commit to a meditation practice. it's the only thing that has a chance at bringing you any happiness & joy in your life, and it's the only thing which will lead to new experiences which are not any combination of anything you've ever experienced before (even drugs).
     
  3. Bette

    Bette Guest

    Neon, I can't answer all your questions, and I am 100% behind meditation practice. I used to do it myself, and it's better than that drug high. It's sort of a release or a surrender only voluntary. Makes no sense how I put it, but yoga for me was the best thing I EVER did for myself. I intend to go once again. Not taking care of me isn't helping the people that need me.

    Anyway, about only wanting to hang with people drinking and doing drugs. Now this is only my opinion and experience. You choose people that are messed up. I don't know how else to put it. You're hanging with people who are probably in tatters, and it will make you feel even subconcously as if you're a bit above them.

    That leads to you feeling you are O.K.

    Abandonment. Doesn't matter who does it. IT brings us all down. You speak as my daughter speaks. She says "Everyone always leaves me".

    O.K. cliche, but you have to love you first. No doubt. Honestly. You FEEL like you've done life, but you ain't scratched the surface. Try the meditation or yoga class. I promise you won't be sorry and then you will attract people to you that are interesting, intelligent, and ready to enjoy life.
     
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