Im doing it tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kirstyclive, Apr 22, 2007.

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  1. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    I have been talking very closely and carefully with a friend of mine today... Im going to spend tonight on the train tracks... I'm sorry to all who have tried to talk me out of this but for me there is no other way out... goodbye and goodluck to all who are coping for the time being.


  2. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    hey hun,
    please dont, please talk alittle more, I am bout if u wanna chat hun,
    what is it that is hurting you so badly?
  3. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    my man hates me... he beat me into miscarriage.. im useless scum that plain and simple doesnt deserve to be breathing... i hear voices that tell me i should have done it years ago that i waited too long already... i have to do this now it is my time.... it is destined i should do it now before i hurt anyone else before i can screw up again
  4. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    hun u arent scum,
    you are hurting from all the pain others are doing to you.
    Can you get away from your guy?
    you do deserve to be breathing, the voices need fighting against and you can do it, it will take a lot but please you can get thru it hun.
  5. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I feel that your man is scum.
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    dontbelieve that the weather is perfect the day that you die
  7. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    i gotta do it before he finds out that i might be pregnant again... i cant take another beating. i had enough... i deserve it i know i do the voices told me i deserve it cos i not good enough to live and i not good enough for clive... he's right in what he does i cant be a good person because sewer rats are better humans than me
  8. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Are you willing to kill your unborn child along with yourself? If you are pregnant get out and raise the child without HIM. He doesn't deserve you.
  9. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    you need to get away from him hun
    Are you in the uk or not? if you are I know of a few numbers you can have hun if you want.
    You do deserve to live hun, fight the voices, tell them to go, listen to your good side, you do have one before you say you dont.
    you say you cant take the beatings anymore, you dont need to hun, please walk you can do it, you can
    Life away from him can improve hun, you can be happy just give yourself the chance to be.
  10. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    i have to... if i pregnant then i gonna mess up a kids head and ruin its life its not fair i evil i need to die to save everyone even me from me. get the scum gone and the world will be a good place.... i scum so get rid of me... i'll be forgotten in a weeks time so who cares anyhow
  11. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    i in uk... but i dont understand why you being nice... i not a nice person... im not a good person... i shouldnt be helped i should be killed and studied
  12. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    no-one deserves to be beaten hun, he is being evil, please get away
    there is a site that can help you called refuge

    0808 2000 247
    Freephone 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge)

    pleae walk away life can be good hun, jut give it a go, if you dont like then re-evaluate hun, you need to give it a try
  13. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    i just cant escape the way i feel night and day its with me... im different from everybiody else but not in a good way. it has to come to an end but that end will also mean the end of my life.... dont try and tell me that its a "permanent solution to a temporary problem" because the problem is much more permanent than any solution could ever be which is why my death is the only solution...
  14. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree with Kanani except for one thing. You should get out whether you are pregnant or not. No person should be abused by another. It is easy for me to sit here and tell you what you should do. I am an outsider, but I do know what that abuse is like and how hard it is to escape from. It will not get better. Please do what you can to take care of yourself. You are not worthless, nor scum, nor any other negative connation you can come up with. It is him, not you.

    I want you to consider something before you decide to spend the night on the tracks. Think of the lives besides your own you would be affecting. The conductor of the train would feel guilt for harming you. This can affect the family of the conductor. The engineer, the brakeman, all others on the train as well. Then there would be those that found you injured or worse. This choice would not only be something that is deterimental to you but othes as well. Choices we make often are not thought through beyond what it can do to ease the pain. But the lives of so many others are at stake as well.

    You said you hear voices that tell you to do something. Are you on anything to help you with this issue? What things have you tried to improve your situation? Please reconsider. Stay safe. :hug:
  15. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    The voices arent with me all the time just most of it... the doctors wont give me anything because of my extensive history of overdose... im a regular fruit loop... or at least thats wat clive calls me... i wanna drop dead just to stop the voices and he'll leave me alone and i wont have to worry about no baby..... its too much to take on all at the same time at my age... i only 20 but i cant stand the thought of living any longer its time for me to let go and give back the oxygen ive used up and stop using any more when people across the world have to breath through tubes and could be using it.
  16. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    hope you are ok hun
  17. No Kirsty! Please don't end your life. Please reconsider. I want to continue to get to know you. Please, try to stay alive, as long as you can, until we can meet. Please, Kirsty, I care about you. :hug:
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