I'm done living.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Siri Kavuri, Oct 16, 2016.

  1. Siri Kavuri

    Siri Kavuri New Member

    I've been feeling like crap for a long time because of my step-mom. She takes time out of her precious day to make me feel like complete and utter crap. My mom used to beat me up when I was just a kid with a wooden stick if I didn't finish my homework. She yelled at me and chased me until she hit me over and over again and my two older sisters never cared enough to stop her. They never even cared enough to protect me from the people who used to bully me. Suddenly when we meet our step-brother they are so nice to him, they were his sisters, but why were they never mine? Being with my step-mom is even worse because she hates me. I thought she loved me, but I'm sure she doesn't because at the end of the day I'm not her daughter so why does she have to love me? she is the person that makes me want to die. I can't say anything back to her, even when she assumes that I'm a no good pain in her neck. I do everything she asks me to do even if not right away and she just can't be pleasant with me ever. I'd rather die than live my life right now or ever. I don't think that for aa second the people in my life will ever miss me because no matter what lies they make up, I know they don't care about me and they never will. I've learned to accept that and I will be very happy if I die soon. I don't maybe get hit by a car or something. I hate crying, but I do almost everyday because of her. I just want to die because I'm just done with life. I'm done trying. I'm done with everything including me.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Can you report your mom for child abuse? Is there a school counselor that you can talk to?
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum and the SF FAMILY. I am saddened by your post from the physical and emotional abuse you have suffered at the hands of step-mum. You are hurting a lot at the moment and that's not right. The emotional abuse is hurting and causing so much emotional trauma.

    Dependant on your age, cannot you see refuge from a woman's organisation near to you. The issue is that if you report the abuse, the mum will deny all knowledge. This because the abuse is happening behind closed doors and in your house. Dealing with family situations is very hard at most times. In order to prove such allegations you need to prove the abuse with independent witnesses.

    I am assuming (I'm sorry if I am wrong) but you seem to come from a very enriched cultural background where the tradition of family honour plays a heavy part in your day to day existence. We are now in the modern day where such behaviour should not be tolerated. Every woman has equals right and should be treated equally irrespective of anything else.

    Consider us as family as we can get you through this tough period of life. You are no longer alone but from what I am reading of the situation, your safety is paramount. Trying to stron on your own is a very tough situation especially when you have no where to turn to.

    Please seek advise from a school counsellor providing it does get back to the family. I know you are crying but please continue to post and reaching out to us. LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.