I'm not a cryer but tonight I couldn't stop. I took my meds yet I can't sleep. I've poured myself out helping and serving others in need in spite of deepening depression, pulling up the last morsels of strength from deep within my well of strength. Now I have nothing left and the depression wants me to die. I want to die. I realize what it is. I recognize it. But I didn't leave myself enough strength to effectively use my coping skills to overcome it. I'm on the fence. I want to die and for this battle, rapid cycling with mostly wicked depressions, to end. I want God to take me home tonight. I know He hates suicide. One minute at a time, I'm going to try to make it 'til morning. I think I can do that.