I hate my life. I am bipolar and suffer from severe manic and depressive episodes about five times a year. I am tired of trying to control these episodes. I just want to die. Death seems so peaceful. I am tired of feeling on top of the world then crashing and feeling like the biggest piece of shit to ever walk the face of earth. I wish i had no family so that no one would be hurt by my absence. I know that nothing will help me except for opiates so there is no hope for me.