Every day I wake up in tears, I fight to hold them back through the day, and then as soon as I walk through my door I collapse in tears again. I even fall asleep crying now. I can't stand it. When I was 12 my grandma died, and we were very close, she was like a mother to me because my mom had me at 17, and I've always felt guilty about ruining her life, and she had made me feel better about myself, then when I was 14 just as I was starting to be able to live a normal life again, my best friend jasmine committed suicide. She was my only consistent friend because I used to move around every two years, and she was the only one I stayed in touch with. Ever since then I had been depressed, and then I met this wonderful girl, Caity, I thought she was the solution to my problems, we fell in love, and were happy together, she made me more happy than I had ever been in my entire life, but she decided to dump me, and all because she wanted to do whatever and whoever she wanted this summer with no worries. That was when the crying started, I havent been able to sleep more than an hour or two at a time since then, and haven't been able to eat. I doubt anything anybody says will stop me, but I wanted to at least share my story so that people would understand why I'm doing this, and why I cant stop it.