You have so much life to live yet, so many experiences to have, so many people to meet, just so much to do!!! You're not even close to done. Maybe you want to be done with the way your life is now. That's fine. Talk to people, post here, get help, get involved with things that can help you change your life for the better. Find something that you can be passionate about. You can do it!!! Be strong now for the good times that will come. And they will come. I hope everything gets better for you soon