This pastime that I have, all of the self mutilation and the drugs. I'm tired of all of it. I've got nothing. My rent's past due and the landlord is beating on the door as I type. I have beat up computer my parents gave me before I failed my way out of college. I've been systematically annihilating all of my bridges. This is beyond isolation, no one understands anything so I just don't go out, not out there. I've boarded up all of the windows, you can't see from outside because the blinds are drawn but I don't want that poison leaking in here. I have been feeling so bad for so long and I am just done. I don't even feel it when I cut anymore, so i started burning myself, now my arms look like mosaics. The drugs keep me cool most of the time but I'm out again and feeling sick. I'm sick of feeling sick. Its been two weeks since I've spoken to another human being. I'm a 25 year old loser, and I'm done.