Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wastingecho, Mar 31, 2010.
can't face myself anymore
can't even put it into words anymore
i'm just wrung out and i don't have the will to fight it anymore
none of us do
so... what next? we all give up now?
is that the game plan?
i'm sorry, kali - you probably don't want to talk to me anymore and i understand
you're right and you have every right to be angry with me - i am a bastard - and a hypocrite
i spend so much time and energy trying to help people keep going, trying to give them hope
then lose all hope myself
i am a vile and despicable excuse for a human being - haven't shaved in 6 weeks because i can't stand to look at myself in the mirror
i don't deserve friends like you and anyone else on this site who cares
i'm not worth caring about and no one should waste one more iota of energy worrying about me
i have no energy for arguing.
i take that as an affirmative answer to my question?
Not sure what I can say, except I care about you. I want you to stay with us.
I've seen some of your posts where you helped others, and they were concise, to the point and very helpful in my opinion. I understand what its like to feel so down on yourself to not be able to look at your own reflection. Don't blame that on yourself, blame it on the depression you're experiencing. Even little things can get blown way out of proportion during depression, so when you really have a problem, it can often seem as if there's no way out.
Talk to us. That in the end is the reason why we're here anyway. No use in joining a forum and not using it when you need it the most.. You've given much on here, now its time to receive some.
I sincerely hope you stick around! We need more people willing to help others in the world, not less!
All the best,
i'm so sorry - i'm all out of ideas
i don't know what to do
my head wants to explode and i keep punching myself in the head to distract myself
shit shit shit
i am so f***ed up - my head is running in circles and i don't know how to break out
don't punch you okay punch something else scream yell go for a run outside If you are hurting so badly call your doctor get help for you okay please. You know you help here you care for people so you are not a vile person. You are in pain and need it to go away. I understand that pain. You have to talk it out with a professional if your meds are not working tell your doctor switch things up okay. We all care here for you so please stay strong please use the bit of fighter deep down in you to reach out and get help. please
You're scared, and hopeless. And, fed up. I don't blame you, you have suffered for too long, and it's not fair.
You are doing what you fucking hate to have others do to you
(is it because i am a safe target?)
you are telling me how I feel
Do Not tell me how i feel
do not tell me what i think
or who i might be angry with if i am even angry
oh, by the way, i am still taking that as affirmative.
hey echo you need to be gentle with yourself you are going thru hell right now and trying to make changes in your life for the better, like meds, SF etc., so please give it some time.
I too have low periods so I am soooo glad you reached out so we can be there for you.
The above poster is right you have been such an asset to this place right from the get go and we need you! Maybe on of your special purposes in life is right here, I know you must feel good that you are able to help so many here and maybe that is part of the big Universal plan in your life.
As far as not shaving I don't say this much cuz I feel embarrassed about it but if it makes you feel a bit better about you I will take the risk....last summer I was basically dysfunctional and barely bathed because I could not stand seeing myself that closely such was my hate for myself. I posted about it and found I was not alone so neither of you, just part of what we deal with in our struggle to find love for ourselves. Please be gentle with yourself I stress again.
We are here for you and you are so worth it to many many of us here as you can already see by the posts.
Keep writing and get that crap out of you head..we are here and aren't gonna leave you ever.
me head is so twisted right now - i can't think, can't say what i mean, i'm insulting and hurting people i don't intend to
i'm spinning out of control
don't worry about it .....you are in pain, plain and simple AND you are doing the best you can.
You have a great heart and not a mean bone in your body as far as I can tell...you are a good person through and through. We understand because on some level or another we have been there.
Keep posting and just let how you feel out without worry,,,we won't judge you ..you're are friend :arms:
you've just never seen my mean bone - trust me it's there
i'm just so lost right now i don't know how to find my way home
Wastingecho, it's okay be hellish at times....look at me...I have a big mouth and say what I feel.
Are you feeling a flood of emotions all interwining at once?
I know that feeling but remember it is just a feeling...what is stopping you, thought wise, from finding your way home to the place of peace and joy?
BTW is the whole visiting family thing going on? that is not helping and things will get better when they leave..you will have some of your personal space back.
Yeah I am sure you can be a tiger when need be but that does not make you mean that just means you have some spunk and fight in ya! That is a great trait now we have to channel it in your favor.
:arms: :arms: :arms: :arms: my friend
family left - cat hid for 8 hours
when he came out he was so stressed he crawled into my lap with the most pathetic meow and needed to be petted until he fell asleep there
i'm never going to have that
:hug: i'm here if you want to talk :cheekkiss: