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I'm done

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SnowFallenAngel, Mar 27, 2011.

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  1. SnowFallenAngel

    SnowFallenAngel Well-Known Member

    Cannot hope for anything in my life to get any better, have far too many illnesses to even count.

    No family, no friends and no money. Nothing left to lose since my precious cat died, so may as well go now, I'm done.

    By the way my name was Liz and I lived in the East of England and I meant nothing to anyone and I should never have been born. I had been used as an emotional punch bag all my life and it never got any easier even though I reached 53 years of age. I was used and abused, rejected and ignored.

    My biggest worry is my God. Will He forgive me. Can't wait to see my mum again.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you got mistreated. I think a lot of us are in the same boat. Some people find a way to get out from under, and I hope that you do

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Liz i hope you can come back and talk to us. You mom would not want you to harm yourself She would want you to reach out and get some helpto heal you. Keep talking okay it helps If you can call crisis line just to talk to hear a real voice on the other end i have done that and it help me hugs to you:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  4. mollycat

    mollycat Member

    I haven't posted for awhile. Am in my 50's and feel the same way..
    The world has changed and left us..it's not the 70's,or the 80's any more.
    We are just a lost generation. No one remembers what we did anymore.
    Our hard work and sacrifices are just a distant memory to the kids of today.
    Hang in there.
    I was going to post all my troubles, but you have gotten my attention.
    If you have the money, get the "f" out of England and go down to Spain for a little R&R.
    Some sun and warm weather will help.
    best regards
  5. mollycat

    mollycat Member

    It says I am a new member, but have been around for a number of years.
    Just change computers and forget the passwords and names...
    these things aren't like the PO.. YOU COULD MOVE AROUND..but the PO could forward your mail... stupid computers..
    BTW.. borrow,beg or steal the money.. get out of England for a few weeks.
    It's been a tough winter.
    I wish you the best.

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    Hi Liz.

    I just want you to know you do have one thing left and that's me. I know that doesn't count for much but I believe in you.

    I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do.
  7. Ems112

    Ems112 Member

    Dear Liz,

    I hope that's still your name love. I don't know you, this is actually my first day on the forum but I could not read and not reply. I am sorry you are struggling so much, and that things seem to be growing ever darker. I don't have any beautiful words nor do I have a cure. But I do have a hope.. a hope that you can pull through this tough day to look back and realize what you would have missed had you gone through with your decision.

    The world is full of hurt, illness, hate, and crime. People treat others like garbage, and no matter who you are, where you are, you are going to go through a time in your life where it just doesn't seem worth it. But please realize that it is. That you are worth it. And I would love to get a chance to talk to you.. I know how horrible feeling ignored can be.
  8. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    Hi Love,
    this reminds me of a quote that says "It is only when we have lost everything, that we are free to do anything."
    You can do whatever you want. Leave England - go to Spain, like another member suggested. Experience life without any expectations or agendas. Do whatever the hell you want to do. Kiss a stranger 20 years younger than you. Go skinny dipping in the ocean. Make conversation with random people in cafes. Turn up unexpectedly at an old friend's house who you haven't talked to in a while. To hell with what anybody else expects or thinks of you.
    You are such a wonderful creature and I hope you find what your'e looking for.

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    This is an amazing perspective. Thanks for sharing. There really is a bright side to everything.
  10. SnowFallenAngel

    SnowFallenAngel Well-Known Member

    Well as you can see I'm still here!

    Thank you all so much for your replies.

    I'd love nothing more than to get out of this miserable country but I have no money as I said in my post. I cannot work because of physcial and nervous illnesses and receive a small benefit. I hve suffered with panic disorder for all of my adult life and haven't been any further than 6 miles from my home in 20 years!! (I don't get any help or support for this either). Things are just hopeless.

    I know that you are all going through so much too which is why you are all here and I thank you for being able to reply to others posts because I find it so difficult to know what to say to anyone else, especially feeling the same way.

    All days are bad days. Sometimes I cry all day, sometimes I am so angry at how my life has turned out, like what did I do to deserve this? But I know that I never did anything to deserve that and that's not how life works!

  11. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you do deserve better than this, though unfortunately if we want to get the kind of life that we deserve, we have to go and get it for ourselves. pretty rare for life to just drop good stuff in out laps (though I'm still hoping to win the lottery ;) )

    maybe connecting with people here will help you form some face to fact connections

    are you getting help from a good therapist?

    I know it's too much to hope for, but I wish somehow that something good will come to you that will make up for everything that has been bad.

    :hug: :console:
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