I'm done

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by muse1001, Feb 15, 2012.

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  1. muse1001

    muse1001 Well-Known Member

    Soon, anyway. I graduate from college soon and the dilemma I'm facing is that I just don't know what to do after college. I imagine myself never being able to find a job afterwards, and this prospect terrifies me to death. And then there's my other problem...I have basically nothing to live for. No boyfriend, no friends, nothing that makes life seem any less meaningless or empty. And not a day goes by that I don't miss my ex, but he's never coming back. It's time I accepted that. Oh sure, he'll send me halfhearted texts on occasion, but I'd rather he just didn't because it makes it that much harder to get over him.

    Life has no meaning or purpose for me. Yes, I am able to distract myself from my pain via entertainment sometimes (music, TV, etc.) but that only helps so much. I just...I can't go on like this forever. Going day by day hoping things will change when they just won't. And I don't have the strength to try to change, or make things better. I have such a deeply ingrained sense of worthlessness that it would be nothing short of impossible to work through it. I am very aware that by killing myself I will be throwing away some of the good qualities I have, but I'll also be throwing away those bad qualities which render my good ones useless. That is the whole reason why I plan to do this.

    I also know that doing this will hurt my family, but you know what? I just have to go ahead and kill myself anyway. My belief is that, in the long run, they will be better off without me. I'm really just a burden, a waste of my parents' resources. I don't wish to be a burden anymore.

    Now, will I actually go through with my suicide plan? I certainly hope so. I don't want to die exactly, but I just don't see living as an option anymore.

    Thank you to anyone who read this.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I think most people feel like this on graduating.
    Had a friend, who felt like that so strongly, that he stayed on and did another 3 degrees :laugh: is now a professor at the same uni.
    If you really don't feel ready to give up uni, how about doing your masters?

    As to ex, tell him to stop texting you, thats like having a scab pulled off everytime he texts! :mad:

    Feeling worthless, then some counselling/therapy is needed get yourself down to the docs.
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