I can't hold on anymore, I don't have any urge to. I just want to rest, sleep and never wake up. I just want some peace. I feel numb, and I can't cope with it because I've forced myself to stop doing anything that worked. I can't drink, I can't self-harm, I can't get high. Nothing works, distractions arent enough. I know its selfish, I know I have a family that cares about me. But I can't live, not like this. I need some comfort, some relief. I can't find that by playing games, writing, reading, watching T.V. I give up. I can't even kill myself when I think about it, I've overdosed enoiugh times to know that wont work, the most effective methods are currently out of my reach. I dont know. I dont know anything except that, I have to feel something other than anger and frustration. If I can't kill myself, I have to do something else, something I said I would never do again. I can't fucking function like this. I just can't.