I'm dying inside

[blackfire]

It hurts to the point of not being able to explain it. I get so worked up and start breathing faster.

Does anyone care in this world about me? I am questioning this today. I tried to ask my instructor questions about a project in class and he got upset and told me he'd come back when I figured it out. He never came back so I left. I go to school to learn and I get yelled at.

The last 4 years have been bad and the last 5 months even worse. Is school for me?

I have to go to my counselor tomorrow. I am so unstable right now. I can't find my guns. My parents hid them. I have other means of death if need be. I am on the vurge of insanity. Do suicides go to hell? I was raised in a Christain home. But have never got an answer.

Sorry to rant and vent. Everyone has problems of their own, why listen to mine.

Peace.

 

[Luliby]

I have no idea what happens after death. There are many people who speculate, some even presume to know.. personally.. It's a big unknown isn't it. It could be nothing, it could be worse than things are now, it could be better, it could be loss of individualsim and we just get absorbed into the universal super consciouness or into God.

Blackfire, i just don't know. But I do know this. Suicide is not a solution, it is an end before a solution can be found. It can't be considered an option because an option means we have a choice and death robs us of both option and choice. Death is also an irreversible act that does not end the pain, because it remains in those who are left behind.

You are suffering from a lot of anxiety right now. Tell your councelor everything. Let them know just how out of control you feel. Sometimes, we think we have to do it alone. We're used to having to take of ourselves or we're just too embarrassed to admit we need help. Don't fight this on your home. The fact that your parents hid the guns tells me your parents know you are struggling and they want you to live. Try talking to them.

talk to your councelor. Keep talking to us. For my anxiety they put me on serequel and I can tell you it helped a lot.

 

[Allo..]

How are you feeling Blackfire? What Luliby said is exactly true, and i couldnt have said it better myself. Everyone has someone in this world who cares for them, everyone, including you. Take care, Ally _%