Just how I feel is: I just am withdrawing. I am so afraid of bursting into tears or losing it. I realise withdrawing is a means to an end for me, literally. All I can do at work is make sure everything is left in perfect order. I am a wounded animal and that is the perfect way to describe myself. Been here for too long to endure it longer. I am not in control, I am wounded. The pain is the overriding factor now. It is overwhelming and know ending it is becoming more and more dominant in my mind. Seeking a means that is secure is the only hurdle.