Obviously this is nothing new; I go through this on a cyclical basis. But it's getting worse. This time I decided to try and find a forum to help me cope. But all I seem to be doing is getting worse. The AM is the worst, when all the animal rescue emails are in my inbox, wanting me to do something, plus my work is backed up because I'm not functioning well, and my homework is falling behind because I can't fucking THINK. Now I've been working out a plan. I'm home so little anymore the dogs are shifting their focus to my wife; they don't need me. SHE has enough on her plate; all she needs is her own PTSD plus all my rescue dogs that I've abandoned her with. The meds are going to help in time; I'll be on some sort of effing rollercoster while they even out, and my appt isn't even for another month. I'm so all over the place; one sane post to someone who I think I can offer something to, then my own craziness maybe I post it and maybe I don't. I think I need to get off these forums, suicide, sexual abuse, depression. They're not helping. I don't know what is going to help. I so fucking need a break.