:'( I'm Failing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Mar 22, 2016.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm failing in everything. Just a horrible person. I hate myself so much.
     
  2. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Hang on. I've dealt with the same feelings for over 30 years and sometimes it is easy and hard yet in the end it will work out.
     
    AdamTide likes this.
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I can't stop crying. I'm so sorry
     
  4. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about it. I cry a lot also yet usually I am by myself with no one to talk to. I have the same feelings you have, some days it is better than other's it is not. Today is kind of middle of the road, not good not bad. I just have to think about myself and tell myself I am somebody, I have feelings and needs.
     
    brknsilence likes this.
  5. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

  6. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Don't feel sorry. The situation is a result of what you are feeling at the moment just as my situation is the result of what I feel at the moment. I try to control my feelings about the moment yet I am not proud of the fact that more times than often I fail.
    Why do you think your failing?
     
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm just screwing everything up. Making everything worse.
     
  8. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    The reason I am feeling the way I do now is because I took early retirement 9 weeks ago because the job was going to kill me one way or the other. Yet by doing so I created more worries for myself such as finances, no medical insurance, a significant other who has her own issues telling me I need to deal with it.
    It is not very comforting to say the least.
    Will it get better, god I hope so yet today it looks like it could go 50/50.
     
  9. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hey there. What's going on hun? *hugs* I'm so sorry you're so upset

    You know my inbox is always open!
     
  10. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, just read your list. I'm hear to chat and try to help you. Inbox open. I will change my plans for today. Let's talk.. I'm all ears...
     
  11. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    You don't have anything to be sorry about. hug We'd be glad to help you. I myself want to tell you that although it may not seem like it right now, you WILL be ok. You are a good person and you are worth it. You MATTER to us here. You have a lot of value. I know it may be hard but think as positively as you can. Tell yourself that things aren't as bad as they seem and that everything is going to be ok. Find something you enjoy and focus on that. Whether it be writing or singing or reading or exercising or driving around or watching a funny video or watching an animal video or just whatever. Get GOOD out of each day. Listening to comforting, upifting music can help a lot. A great song is Rockabye by Shawn Mullins. In it, he sings "everything's gonna be alright." And he's right. Everything WILL be ok. :) Another comforting song is Breathe by Anna Nalick. She sings "cradle your head in your hands and breathe just breathe". Sometimes you just have to realize you are doing your absolute best and just relax as much as you can. Be good to yourself. You will be alright. hug
     
  12. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Still crying. I'm too ashamed of myself.
     
  13. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Why are you ashamed, because you are you or because the depression is telling you this?
     
  14. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hun, if you're ashamed over crying, please don't be! It's a strength to be able to cry; it's okay.

    Please try to talk to us about what is happening


    *hugs*
     
  15. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I did something earlier that I am ashamed of. I don't deserve to live
     
  16. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    We have all done things that we were ashamed of. Heck I am ashamed right now because I am supposed to be a tough male, served in the Military, worked in Law Enforcement, supposed to take care of my family the best I can but what happened I showed I am human with the same faults as others, no better no worse. I just need to tell myself that everyday.
     
  17. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Yes you do hun! You absolutely do! You have every right to live.
     
  18. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Not sure if I could ever forgive myself. I so hate myself so much
     
  19. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Think about it. How many times have you forgiven yourself or somebody else for some transgression. It has taken a lot of years of work to forgive myself even though I don't always do that. It has taken a lot longer in my life to forgive those who have hurt me. Yet over the years I have told myself repeatedly I cannot blame others for who I am, I am who I am because of my choices.
     
  20. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I forgive others so easily. Myself, on the other hand, I should know better
     
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