I feel so distressed right now. Like everything is falling apart. I hate myself for not being able to keep things together. I recently moved to the place I was dreaming of and now that I am here, I only see how different everything is. My friends think I'm so inspirational for having the strength to make this relocation possible, but right now strong is the last thing I feel. I miss those days of being able to work everyday towards this. Now, I am isolating. I spend all my time in a smallish studio apartment and only leave every two or three days, and only for an hour or two. I feel so lonely. I don't know anyone here and have not had a real conversation since getting here three weeks ago. I allowed myself the time to settle in, but now I feel I have exceeded that. I still don't feel settled in and I get overwhelmed so easily. I am struggling to become familiar with the area and to retain that information. Right now I crave another roadtrip. Just getting in the car and driving 1,500 miles. Every night I go to sleep with a plan for the next day, and by morning I have the feeling of failure and am unable to do what needs to be done. I feel that I still have so much to do. Things are going to be better in June because friends are coming and I know my self-confidence will go up, but right now I just hate myself for not being able to make things work. I have considered going back into therapy, but I have a hard time doing so. I think I am scared to reach out. How do I know which one to pick? I just feel so miserable right now and am craving that comfort feeling. I need to do something. I just don't know what and I receive no help from my family. I'm all alone and have the weight of the world on my shoulders.