I'm Fairly Convinced Nobody Cares

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Soft Serve, Jul 27, 2012.

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  1. Soft Serve

    Soft Serve Well-Known Member

    I feel like I've done all that I can, said all I can say for people. But when I need someone, no one is ever there.

    I dated a guy, but I had to leave him. He spent far too much time on a forum site. I cared about him but he threw what we had away so he could be online.

    So I dated a girl from the same site he was on. I actually cared about her, it wasn't a "revenge" tactic. I would have given my god damn life for her. Hell, I was prepared to move across the fucking world for school just to see her every weekend. And she leaves me because I have too many problems.

    I threaten my life, and neither of them wants anything to do with me ever again. They lost all respect for me they said.

    Now they're fucking together? Stabbed right in the fucking back. I'm contemplating an attempt again. After everything I said to everyone here about staying I'm ready to go die again. I'm such a fucking failure, and a hypocrite. But it doesn't matter... I've called for help and no one is coming. I'm just so done.

    I'd be out this fucking second if I could, but I'm being watched. Someone knows I'm trying... So tuesday. I'll have everything ready tuesday. This might as well be a "farewell."
  2. Ash71

    Ash71 Well-Known Member

    lots of people care, cant speak for the people here, but i know they do care. i dont know you, but i care. hang around and talk awhile, you will be suprised how much it might help. people here understand what you are going through.
  3. kote

    kote Account Closed

    hey ive just be double stabbed in the back too in these last 2 days.

    its left me in pieces and the one person i could trust i cant.

    im at my weakest point right now too so certain people chose their timing to be extra spiteful!!!

    but after my initial fall and wanting to die i pulled myself up and im fighting them off and starting again without them. all the better for it. i dont need the drama or the lies. thats not my world anymore. im moving on and happy to be free of poisoness people like that.

    choose to mve past them and be better than them. you no longer have to think of them. they can destroy each other while you are free to do as you please.

    goodluck the back stabbing does hurt. but get angry and fight them off and fight for something better for yourself. you are worth much more!!!
  4. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    SoftServe, you were here on SF since 20th July 2009. Can you tell us what is your opinion of SF? I don't think I have spoken to you before so I have no idea what kinda of personality you have but you do seems to have a bit of problems with your life. I regret that my words could not provide much comfort to you but I would like to hear more from you. Your life seems very different from mine.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    People here do worry about you and care...It's not quite the same as face-to-face, I know.

    It's hard when people we trust let us down. Your situation is particularly difficult because they turned away from you and to each other. I imagine most people would feel stabbed in the back. But that says more about them than it does about you as a person.

    You have more baggage than they can deal with? Hmmm. Everyone has baggage. Some people have achieved a more constant stage of having their issues stay behind them. How about if you work on putting your issues behind you and then find someone who doesn't care what those issues are? You deserve to be with someone who truly cares about YOU - as much as you care about them, and that means someone who isn't rattled because you are a work in progress. (If we are to grow and develop in our lives, we must always be a work in progress.)

    And remember that the adage that "there's someone for everyone" is statistically sound, given the world's population. That person is out there for you. Probably there's more than one, statistically.

    In all of this, your best friend can be yourself. That's a good place to begin, actually, because if all else fails us in a given situation, we have our own inner self to rely on.

    I know this might sound like platitudes, but it's a place to start. Please don't give up on yourself. :hug:
  6. Soft Serve

    Soft Serve Well-Known Member

    I've been here a while. I understand that there are people here who would like to do what they can, but the ones that matter haven't answered. Not that you don't matter. We're just not as close.

    I'm sorry we were in a similar situation. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

    I'll answer this in a PM.

    I don't care if there's anyone out there for me, I don't think I'll ever trust the same again. I'll always be mindful and doubting. My "love" won't ever be as it was for them. There's no point in finding someone else, when any sense of purity to my emotional attachment is dead.
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    In my own experience, no it's not "the same". I now wait a while before "trusting" people just because I am initially attracted to them. The trust is "earned" over a longer period of time. The emotional purity of love and attachment when trust is earned can be even better and deeper than we might think when we are still in spot where we are healing from being hurt. We need to heal before we head out to "trust" others. Maybe you need more time before that can happen. :hug:
  8. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    Just agreeing with Acy. And a lot of people here definitely care. Most of them care way more about other people than they do about themselves...and I'm pretty sure they want to hear what you have to say.

    It's not quite fair to say that only replies from certain people count. Many of us have one parent who loves us less, and that's the person we tend to seek. But that's kinda setting yourself up for something you know you won't get. People here DO want to hear you speak. There's so many people here! Sending you love.
  9. Soft Serve

    Soft Serve Well-Known Member

    Maybe. I'm just going to keep it out of mind I guess. "Stop looking for something and you'll find it" sort of thing.

    I don't mean to say that no one else matters. It's just like salt in the wound though. I helped them, I was there for them, and I trusted them. But when I need help, nothing. I wanted to talk about how I felt betrayed to someone who said "You can talk to me anytime." and got ignored. It kind of amplifies things doesn't it?
  10. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    I wish I was better at offering support... I never know what to say...but I do care. Please don't do it. I'd miss you bunches, if I survived you anyway....
  11. Ash71

    Ash71 Well-Known Member

  12. Soft Serve

    Soft Serve Well-Known Member

    Alright Ash. Send me a PM sometime then.
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