im falling again.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by slim_to_none, Dec 26, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    i only seem to come here these days when i really am suffering.
    i was sent home from IP only a few days ago. sent to my parents house.
    i have nowhere to live.
    and i am stressed out.
    i moved out of here because of how much they stress me.

    and i am dying inside yet again.
    i have it all set up.
    i have my plan.

    i went as far as telling my mother how desperate i was today and all she could talk about was how i had ruined her life. how she had no friends because she didnt know what to talk about with anyone anymore.

    how she couldnt live without me.

    i feel so guilty.
    and so horrible.

    and if tomorrow goes badly. i think i am going to go through with my plan.

    please help me. please.
     
  2. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    Thats so not cool of your mom. She needs to learn to live her own life, sounds like she's blaming her problems on you.
    Maybe you could look into getting a job while your there or volunteering somewhere? It'd give you a chance to get out of the house, and if its your parents that are stressing you out, that could be a good thing.
    Best wishes.
    Rae
     
  3. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Please post here again, talk some more about your situation
     
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    hi there, would like to help but I agree with titanic's post above .. would help to know a bit more before I can really know what it might help to say. :hug:
     
  5. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    more about my situation.....

    im 20, i havent actually lived with my family for years, but because of some mess-ups, i have ended up homeless and my kind kind family have taken me in. i actually wish i were out on the streets rather than here.

    ive been IP for almost 12 weeks in total in the last few months because life hasnt seemed worth living.

    and it doesnt seem to be worth living at all. i have nothing. i am nothing.
    ive been delving into some stuff from my past. sexual assult related things. which is hurting to do.

    i dont know what else to really say. i have someone from the hospital coming out to my parents place today to talk to me. depending on how that goes, i have my plan to fall back on.

    im desperate. and i hate being desperate. but i cant take being alive.
    i keep asking for help. and no one is hearing me.
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    What kinds of issues do you have going on that you are having ifficulty dealing with? You mention that you have nowhere to live yet you say you are living with your mother. I guess I am a bit confused here.

    Just read your new post. Dealing with some of those issues aren't easy and things seem to get worse before they get better. Don't give up on things. You can do this. :hug:
     
  7. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    its a confusing situation.
    i DID have a place to live away from my family because they have been driving me crazy since birth. but due to the fact that the landlord wanted to sell the property i was living in, i am now homeless as i cant seem to get another place. (which is another issue entirely. mum wants me to stay here rather than find somewhere else and is sabotaging my efforts to find a new home).

    and i have gotten a bit of help from some of the services out here. i have to manage to get through to the 2nd Jan and i have an organised admission to a private psych clinic. so i am getting daily phone calls from the local crisis assessment team, i am seeing a nurse from the clinic on outreach (ie - they come here to see me), and my parents are terrified to leave me on my own for more than a few minutes at a time.

    im drinking daily. im about 11 weeks clean from self harm. and im eating. (not really disorderedly). but god, i cannot take it. my only escape from the constant string of people trying to keep me alive is my computer.

    it sounds like i am complaining about getting the help i need. i'm not complaining. i am so so grateful to the services. but i literally cannot take living here with my family. i still have my plan. its set up. every single thing is set up. it would take me minutes to organise everything and be done with it.

    i think thats whats scaring me the most. i know exactly how i want to die. and i am so ready to go.

    im sorry. this makes no sense at all.
     
  8. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    But you're NOT a quiter - your a FIGHTER and your doing so well :smile:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.