My husband walked out Sunday after 18 years for what I thought was some time at work. After midnight and over 5 hours, numerous texts at 3:40 am, I realize he isn't coming home, lock up and try to rest. At 8:30 the next morning he responds to one of my texts, tells me to have my son get a suitcase down for him. He wants his stuff packed. Long story short, he has been emotionally and verbally abusive for years. Screams in my face. Calls me retarded. Laughs at me for having been a foster child. Hangs up on me, often walks out and vanishes over night, but always promises he won't do it again. I thought this was another recurrence. He won't speak to me. I've asked if he wants a divorce. A separation. Most of his stuff is here. I only packed a small bag with enough clothing for maybe a week or two. I currently have access to the joint account, but of course, won't take advantage of it. The noise I would hear if spent 1k.. I don't begrudge him a place to stay, but communication isn't alot to ask.. and our finances are limited. Today was hard. I haven't eaten since last Saturday and I'm just exhausted. My husband is bullying me, threatening with non-payment of the household bills, the roof is leaking, a storm is coming and he just put almost 1k on our credit card and won't respond abut what I can spend on groceries. My son is comparing this issue to a break-up with his on/off gf that saw maybe once every 2 weeks for a year. This was every day for 18 years of my life. I come from Bi-polar. A family of people who kill themselves. I feel like I'm sliding that way. I can't get out of bed..when I do, I feel like I'm falling. I can't breathe. I don't even know what to do.