I'm feelin' better/goin' to be okay/constipated/Explanation

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DrivEthermissIon, Nov 14, 2009.

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  1. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I apologise for the e-hospital thread, I was in a bad state.

    It's okay. I tend to make a big fuss of things *smiles bravely*

    I'll tell you what happened. Two people here told me off for editing people's poems. They were right to do that, I made a public apology and I'm going to add to it.

    So I called one of them 'very strange' and the other said all those malicious things I mentioned earlier about me in the e-hospital thread. They also said they wouldn't say sorry and were standing by their words.

    You guys know me, I'm not a horrible person. But it was understandable they got upset.

    I just keep thinking 'Maybe everyone thinks this about me'. And it fills me with anxiety.

    Friends - you really need to try a bit harder to acknowledge my pain and stand by me. A friend in need is a friend indeed. But it's okay, we're all different! *hug*

    I'm not losing my mind. I am able to function in life and communicate with my family and friends.

    But I am getting sicker as the Multiple Chemical Sensitivity progresses, and it affects my behaviour online, and I lash out a little bit, I mean I'm not violent I try to be careful but I have terrible mood swings. I also get very insecure and I needs lots of affection and I get a bit critical when people don't give hugs and smiles all the time and check up on me (aww...) :) I think maybe they are upset at me, and I'm sorry I get jealous XD. I'm a drama queen. Try not to take it to heart.

    But when I make mistakes I try to go in the opposite direction and be as loving as I can.

    But it's hard for people to forgive. But I keep saying I am very sick.

    It's so hard to watch.

    But you can see I am sort of doing okay, I performed a beautiful song for Bubblin girl! ^__^ She loved it. *hugs honey*

    I'm misunderstood. It hurts. If I was arrogant, would I give my love so freely? I did not intend to put anyone down when I edited the poems of others, I was trying to honour their poem and guide them like teacher. In jazz music, different instruments add to each other, that's really all I was trying to do, I mean come on guys, it's art, if a guitar player is making mistakes, shouldn't someone correct him? You might say "They're not mistakes, all art is equal" I know that, I never said my version was better, I said that their version was wonderful, but that if they added better timing it would be more enjoyable. My intention was not to put anyone down, it was merely to add on to the art, others were free to add onto mine, what's the harm of adding something to a piece of art? But I understand that some people take offence and aren't so jazz oriented, so I have stopped doing that and I apologise for causing any problems.

    Wanting the girls to fall in love with me - honestly guys, I've got a very soft heart, I'm a girl's guy, and it's all light-hearted, I mean have I ever said "I want to have sex with you' or 'I am in love with you' or 'you're hot'? Even jokingly? Whenever I comment on a girl's appearance, it's always in good taste. I am sweet to all.

    With missiontohell - Sammakko paired us up in Truth or dare, she e-kisses me light-heartedly
    With Bubblin' girl - She thinks she's ugly and horrible, I was trying to lift her self-esteem, we lift each other up, she told me explicitly I am so much help to her.
    With Kate/NoGood - I have NEVER thought of her romantically. I never would. I adore her. I love you Kate <3 .
    With Sammakko - She's a bitter creature and I was trying to melt her hate, I met her in Truth or dare and saw the good in her, and since then I've been trying to make her laugh lightly at herself. I also had a disagreement with the same first person about Sammako, they couldn't understand the light-heartedness for some unknown reason. And the second person couldn't understand any of my behaviour obviously. Major personality clashes! That's really all it was.
    With Tam - It's all light-hearted, Tam was one of the first who was kind to me, they've been kind all along

    Friends, you need to try harder to be as nice as me in my good times, coz I often feel lonely and no-one is there, but it's okay coz everyone has their share of problems. *hug* Plus if someone is really vicious, they are obviously not as sensitised as me to pain and shock. If someone puts Re: I get really scared. It's better they be creative and make up a header :) . Also, many threads scare me so I don't read them, I say that sometimes.

    The person also said it was all about me, but God...I want to help others so much! And I have. When missiontohell was goin' down, I told several people to try and comfort her. I care about you Dana. I care about you all and I want to say thank-you to all who have been kind to me at any point. You are all my stars. I went to the toilet (I was constipated) and I ate and drank and had a shower and I'm feelin' a bit better XD.

    Here's a poem, it was one of curses, but I transformed it.

    Words that heal

    Bless you God and bless your towns
    Bless your people, bless their frowns
    Bless the children when they cry
    Bless the tears fall' from their eyes

    Bless the darkness, bless the pain
    Bless the light, I curse in vain
    Heal the torture in 'The Bay'
    Fix the horrors that betray

    Black is cold and cold is night
    Night is dreams and dreams are fright
    Fright is endless like the stars
    Stars that sing 'Between the bars'

    Take these nightmares, take my pride
    Mend my dreams and let them guide
    Call the ravens from the Hells
    Watch as they ring the Peace Bell

    Cry for me but love my joy
    Forgive the words when they annoy
    Bring your Kingdom, on my knees
    Hold me Lord, naught left but these.


    My brother has just got his old job back (they would LOVE him to come back), and I received a message from World Vision about the child I'm sponsoring! Things are going to be just fine, I just really needed to let you know a few things guys and vent. Thank-you so much! I'm feelin' better.
     
  2. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    When someone rights a poem to help them, it's personal. It's like taking a picture someone was left from a great grandparent or something when they died, and adding to it to try and make it look better. It's just not right, especially when you don't ask them in the first place.

    People can't constantly give you e hugs and constantly check up on you, they have other things going on in their lived. Their life does not revolve around you. If they forget to check up on you for some reason, don't get paranoid and pissed off, check up on them. Their might be a reason. They might need you to check up on them for a change.

    I noticed you kept telling people they need to do this, they need to do that, they don't need to do anything. You say that you know other people have their own share of problems, and that you understand everyone is different, but you still tell people they need to be as kind as you, that they need to do all these things for you. You may or may not mean it in a selfish way, I'm not sure, that is how it comes across though.

    I'm happy for your brother getting his job back, and for the child you're sponsoring.

    Note: This post isn't an attack at you, it's how I see the post.
     
  3. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    You're absolutely right Wayne, sometimes I'm not too good at phrasing. All I really meant was I'm very needy :)

    It's okay ^__^ Thank-you for your concern.
     
  4. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I actually think you've given me some good advice Wayne ^___^ Thx for the heads up. I will check up on others.
     
  5. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    hi
    nice poem...its so touchy...I like it...
    I dont think anybody is upset from ur e-hospital...its normal...u can ask for help anytime u want dear...thats we are here for...

    dont understand me wrong but like u said about mood swing...i notice it long time ago...normal people go see shrink...It can help to see shrink only one hour a week...i dont know about your erea...its not such a bad idea...but some go to homes...

    all boys love to be wominzer...its normal...u r soooooooooo kind...u r the dream of everygirl...dont worry about that...u can find ur soulmate...but u have to be patience...maybe also e-dating servese can help & easy to u.

    and please stop say you are here just to help people...you are here for a reason...sure u can help...but u also here to be helped...so please let us...and take care of yourself

    take care
     
  6. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    :lol!: Thx Dove
     
  7. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    BTW I'm not a womanizer guys XD It's all light-hearted.
     
  8. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    im sorry..my english is not good...you are so kind not womanizer at all...I appoligize
     
  9. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    It's okay, I'm sorry. ._.
     
  10. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    *Chris picks himself up and keeps going*

    I'm going to be okay ^__^
     
  11. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I'm feeling good. Life is going to be okay. Have some cake :cake:
     
  12. Piffle

    Piffle Member

    Your English is great. :smile:

    Good to hear. And thank you very much for the friend request. Was a nice surprise to log into. :hug:
     
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