I had a failed attempt not too long ago, and since then I have been feeling decent. But today(or yesterday, dont know what time it is where you are) would have been our anniversary. I was filling out a job application and I noticed the date, I almost broke down right there in the waiting room. I couldnt finish the app, I left it unfinished and went to my truck. I pratically broke down when I got to my truck, I leaned into my steering wheel and cried for about an hour. I cant get a job, bills are piling up, I'm so depressed and lonely, knowing that my ex is somewhere happy with out me, is it selfish to not be happy knowing that shes happy...? I have dreams about her, I wake up almost in tears and just lie in bed the better part of the day and accomplish nothing. I got a lady friend, who just broke up with her boyfriend, and shes pissed because I'm not there for her...when I cant even be there for myself over my break up. Thinks are just getting worse all over again... I know that suicide is just a permanent answer to a temporary problem, as they say. But I'm starting to think that these feelings are permanent. I got ~$60k worth of tools and firearms, and a ~$30k truck to leave to my family, I think they would be more comfortable with out me.