I'm feeling pretty bad tonight

[twilight]

Hi everyone,

I feel bad because I missed an exam today in music. I feel like such an idiot because I set my alarm wrong and it didn't go off. I shouldn't have been so stupid. I feel so irresponsible. :sad: I e-mailed him and asked him if I could make up the exam but he hasn't e-mailed me back yet. I am so sick of this anxious feeling. It not only about the exam either. The anxious feeling has always been there for years. I just feel like I have failed at college and in life and I might as well die because I am no use to anyone. I keep thinking about how I am going to kill myself and I have a way to do it that I know would work. I am probably not going to do it but the thought is always in my mind. Everything has just been going really badly lately. I can't seem to make friends with people which makes me feel even worse about myself. I don't really have anyone at all to talk to or to get support from. It just gets really frustrating because I am sick of feeling like this.

I am probably going to see a therapist soon and I would like some advice if anyone has any. I have been looking around on the internet and I was wondering if I should go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Any advice about therapy would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Sadeyes]

hi and i know exactly how it feels to miss an exam...in my junior yr at college, i slept through a midterm, and had to run to campus in my Mickey Mouse PJS...and i wondered why my dating life was so poor!!!...got there just as ppl were leaving, and the professor gave me a few extra minutes, but that was it...by the grace of G-d got a C- on the exam...I should have gotten a F...about seeing a psychologist, it is best to see someone through a referral, if that can happen, either person, or through the Psychological Association in your area...i would be less inclined to see someone from the internet...good luck with this, and big hugs, Jackie

 

[twilight]

I know what you mean about feeling like you don't look right. I try but I know that I look really bad. It just seems like whatever I do doesn't make a difference in making me look better. I was able to take the exam thankfully, and I got an 88%. A lot of people did good on the exam so it's not that great. What really sucks is that my roommate's cousin is coming over for the weekend and she keeps asking me if I am going to leave. It makes me feel really bad because obviously she is sick of me being around her. It makes me feel even worse about myself than usual. I just keep thinking that if I could get a grade in life it would definately be a F and I should just give up.

I guess I don't have to worry about her catching me on this website...:sad: She wouldn't care anyway if I did commit suicide even though it's probably at least partially my fault. I would talk to her more but I don't know if she hates me.

 

[Robin]

it's hard to admit to yourself you can be liked by others when you hate yourself so much and alot of us on this site don't have the self esteem needed to fight those feelings but the truth is were a pretty nice bunch really and if your roomate is too stone hearted to admit that to herself let alone you then all I can say is that for every nice person like you in the world there's a bitch waiting to be our room mate

 

[gentlelady]

I have missed college exams as well and had to jump through hoops to make them up. I do not think it is fair of your roomate to expect you to leave because her cousin is coming for the weekend. She can make alternative arrangements if necessary. As for making an appointment, I think seeing a psychologist would be a good idea. Have you tried the counseling services available at the college? Sometimes they are not too bad. It may be a place to start. Just an idea. I hope you feel better soon. Take care.