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Im feeling so so much better

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lonely101, Dec 12, 2009.

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  1. Lonely101

    Lonely101 Well-Known Member

    I really am feeling so so much better and I think Im recovering from everything more progressively, than Id ever thought

    But, my college work has really suffered, and Im just worried Im not gonna make it to get finished....

    Like Ive never felt as better, and with some support from one or two people (in university) and people who've helped me along in some way or other, just even briefly, its helped ... every single thing mattered and every little thing helped me to be better

    The first break through of feeling better was sometime in the summer, when I just went outside and sat in the garden in college with my books and papers and wrote in the sun...and i made sure i did this everyday for a little while...because it was very painfully emotional trying to get information out of my head, I knew it but for some reason it was very painfully emotional trying to bring it out (cant really explain)....so I tried to train myself to let it flow, with the a4 note pad, tried sitting in the college garden and as it came, to just let it happen....

    and I scheduled, certain times of meditation...and closed down my computer, put my mobile away, and my ipod...and just sat in the warm sun onn the garden bench in the rose garden...and everytime i got stressed i took a minute to take in the scene around me....

    but Ive been reading as much as I can on self-help stuff .... which has really helped

    last few months been hard at home, but Im creating my own environment in my room...so im feeling better

    Im really really scared though, time surpassed me, and have little time left to restore my college work and rather get them in on time....Im really really really worried...really scared...cos ive fixed myself, just about there, and getting better each day, my brain is opening again...and i just wish they could come together, me better and the college work united to be fixed together....

    you know... it would mean everything was fixed from that period ... well almost everything, gotta find understanding in those around me too, wish I could fix that too...

    But, Im certainly looking forward to having my own apartment when i finish this...so I can make my own home, and a warm, fun environment...when/if I get a job and at this stage, I can only hope for the best
  2. Lonely101

    Lonely101 Well-Known Member

    Im just terribly scared of not completing ....
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i am glad things are working out. keep up the great work.
  4. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    :hugtackles: You will, I'm so happy things are better for you.
  5. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Its incredible how quickly things can take a turn for the best.
  6. Lonely101

    Lonely101 Well-Known Member

    well it wasnt that quick....its been a long struggle...

    i still feel lonely tho' but its not the way it was...
  7. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    It was a quick turn because you were very very down in your posts only a few day's ago and now you sound like you took a turn for the best. Glad you found the support required.
  8. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    im glad you feel better :) im happy for you :hug:
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