Im finding it hard

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by clouds, Oct 10, 2010.

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  1. clouds

    clouds Well-Known Member

    to actually say the word rape and believe it did happen to me.. A few weeks ago I went to visit a friend, Id been recently discharged from hospital after a suicide attempt and was feeling in need of friendship and to get out of my house, hence the reason for me going to visit him.. As is normal we hd coffee and cake and chatted about our daughters and partners, he was giving me a welcome hug and just wouldnt stop and I couldnt make him, he hurt me both physically and emotionally..I cant even cry about it and am unable to actualy talk about what happened..He has since txtd me to tell me what a great time he had and cant wait to see me again, Im horrified . Havent told my husband as it would destroy him..Did talk to my gp and cpn briefly but they want me to talk about it and seek counselling am just not up to that
     
  2. SarahB

    SarahB Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that you got taken advantage of like that, in your time of need and wanting to recover. That's just so terrible and I'm sorry you had to go through that. It makes me upset just hearing that happened to you.

    I'm sorry, but I really think it'd be best if you talked about it with people. It's always better in the end to talk about it, trust me.. You may not feel it now but you will.

    You need to tell the police. So he can no longer text you and scare you. So you don't have to be afraid of him anymore.

    And don't worry about your husband. He loves you, he'll want to help you get through this. You can both get through it together, and you'll have his support, him to lean on, and him to you.

    I'm sure you can work on this and get better in time.. Even if it is hard, you can build up that courage to talk about it. You'll be supported all the way by people who care.
     
  3. Poorlaggedman

    Poorlaggedman Active Member

    Hey I'm sorry this happened.. But you should really take legal action sooner rather than later. You weren't very specific and you don't have to be. But if you feel you were sexually assaulted you need to tell the police if not for yourself, for somebody else. Because no matter who you thought he was this sets a precedence for him and the chances are good he'll do it again to someone else or take it to a whole other level.

    This kind of stuff happens to a lot of people unfortunately so you're not alone, a decent majority of the victims knew the perpetrator. Don't let that fact or some BS text messages give the guy a free pass. You may consider that an option but neither me nor the vast majority of society want you to go that way. You may not be the first and you might not be the last for the guy, normal people would never do something like that to another person no matter what the circumstances. They have anonymous hotlines for this. At least call one of them and they can give you your options. I'm not familiar with them myself but if you google i'm sure there's several, they probably wouldn't even show up on a phone bill. It takes a lot of courage and it might be painful. You really shouldn't have to because it shouldn't have happened in the first place so its not your fault.
     
  4. Poorlaggedman

    Poorlaggedman Active Member

    Hey I'm sorry this happened.. But you should really take legal action sooner rather than later. You weren't very specific and you don't have to be. But if you feel you were sexually assaulted you need to tell the police if not for yourself, for somebody else. Because no matter who you thought he was this sets a precedence for him and the chances are good he'll do it again to someone else or take it to a whole other level.

    This kind of stuff happens to a lot of people unfortunately so you're not alone, a decent majority of the victims knew the perpetrator. Don't let that fact or some BS text messages give the guy a free pass. You may consider that an option but neither me nor the vast majority of society want you to go that way. You may not be the first and you might not be the last for the guy, normal people would never do something like that to another person no matter what the circumstances. They have anonymous hotlines for this. At least call one of them and they can give you your options. I'm not familiar with them myself but if you google i'm sure there's several, they probably wouldn't even show up on a phone bill. It takes a lot of courage and it might be painful. You really shouldn't have to because it shouldn't have happened in the first place so its not your fault what happened or what happens when you come out about it.
     
  5. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Does this sound like he's trying to manipulate you to not do anything? Press charges for yourself and for someone else. Because you are going to have to live with your decision to press charges forever.
     
  6. clouds

    clouds Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone, Ive phoned a helpline and they have been amazing at offering support and advice am going to see some-one face to face so hopefully that will help..Im afraid of what will happen if the police are contacted and as it was a few weeks ago its now only my word against his..He is a senior fireman in our local station and right now Im off work and attending psychiatric day hospital because of other health problems.Am sure it would look like Ive flipped my lid even more than was originally suspected..Have blocked him on face book cause he popped up there last night
     
  7. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Even if you lose, you will probably be able to tarnish his good name.
     
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