I just realized I'm gonna be even poorer than I am now because the bar I work at is changing owners and I'm gonna get one day a week at most, and even in spite of all my hard work and customer service at my other job, my hours are getting cut. I've had it; it all just goes to show that hard work really never pays off, at least it never did with me. The best thing I've gotten was a two-day weekend and a "spent" feeling. Plus, I have to pay for a bunch of shit and my birthday and Christmas is on the way and I hate my birthday and I hate holidays because I am forced to talk to my emotionally abusive brother who treats me like a piece of shit and then makes me feel bad for feeling like a piece of shit. I am utterly worthless as a human being. I've hated every moment in school, every soul-destroying moment I attempted in college and every job I've ever had; it was all just shit to "get over" and there's not one single thing I liked about any of it... only stuff that sucked less than other stuff. I absolutely fucking hate damn near everything in this piece of shit world; Randal Graves and that little shit from Catcher in the Rye ain't got SHIT on me! They're fucking Pollyannas compared to how much I HATE everything from my burning satanic pit of a stomach and how much I want this world to just be destroyed to the point everything with it is destroyed! The only day I'm looking forward to is the day I die. That's going to be the best day of my life, and hopefully it comes sooner rather than later.