I'm finished.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DatAlgorithm, Nov 25, 2015.

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  1. DatAlgorithm

    DatAlgorithm Well-Known Member

    I just realized I'm gonna be even poorer than I am now because the bar I work at is changing owners and I'm gonna get one day a week at most, and even in spite of all my hard work and customer service at my other job, my hours are getting cut. I've had it; it all just goes to show that hard work really never pays off, at least it never did with me. The best thing I've gotten was a two-day weekend and a "spent" feeling. Plus, I have to pay for a bunch of shit and my birthday and Christmas is on the way and I hate my birthday and I hate holidays because I am forced to talk to my emotionally abusive brother who treats me like a piece of shit and then makes me feel bad for feeling like a piece of shit.

    I am utterly worthless as a human being. I've hated every moment in school, every soul-destroying moment I attempted in college and every job I've ever had; it was all just shit to "get over" and there's not one single thing I liked about any of it... only stuff that sucked less than other stuff. I absolutely fucking hate damn near everything in this piece of shit world; Randal Graves and that little shit from Catcher in the Rye ain't got SHIT on me! They're fucking Pollyannas compared to how much I HATE everything from my burning satanic pit of a stomach and how much I want this world to just be destroyed to the point everything with it is destroyed!

    The only day I'm looking forward to is the day I die. That's going to be the best day of my life, and hopefully it comes sooner rather than later.
  2. Lula Belle

    Lula Belle Member

    Hi, I have been, & sometimes still go, where you are now. Sometimes my anger is all that sustains me. Allow yourself to entertain the idea that things can work out better than how you perceive them now.

    Try to quiet the mind in order to give yourself time away from the stress response long enough for it to dissipate. Distract, Relax, & then cope w/ a clearer frame of mind.
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