I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another lastn

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by JasonC, May 27, 2013.

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  1. JasonC

    JasonC New Member

    I just don't know what to do or think.

    I went to work on Saturday night and when came home she said she had been lonely and so had arranged to meet up with an old friend who now lives in the same city as us. This would be an old friend with whom she had sex with occasionally prior to us meeting and subsequently getting married.

    I drove her there last night and then proceeded to go to work, spending the entire shift wondering and worrying.

    When I finished work, she had not come home. I texted her to ask whether she was coming home only to find that she's fine back to his place 'to watch TV and chat because they were playing crap music'. Eventually find out where he lives so I can pick her up.

    I'm then left waiting for 30 mins.

    Virtually no conversation in the car on the way home. I don't sleep a wink, she's sleeping like a log - the only time she sleeps as heavily as this is when she's taken something to help with her sleep, or she's had sex.

    I get up about 6am, get a glass of milk and check her Facebook messages. She'd been messaging him all of Saturday evening (whilst I was at work), being very flirty - even starting the conversation off with comments about how she'd been having naughty dreams about him.

    I'm lying here in bed whilst typing this out on my phone. She's still asleep next to me. I'm freaking out.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    Why would you stay in the relationship if you suspect she's sleeping with another guy? it seems likely, judging by what you've said anyway. And if you are checking her Facebook messages...that means there is no trust in the relationship. You shouldn't keep putting yourself through this kind of treatment, because you deserve someone who won't make you feel like this.
     
  3. JasonC

    JasonC New Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    I was starting to think, after 6 years with her, that I might actually have found someone for whom I was good enough.

    Clearly I was wrong.
     
  4. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    As hard to do as it might be, you'll have to come out and ask her what the hell is going on, and sometime soon. There may be something you can do to save this relationship. Not sure I'd want to stay with someone capable of doing this, if in fact, she is cheating. Of course, I could never follow this advice myself, and would let her behavior slide.
     
  5. JasonC

    JasonC New Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    I really can't see the point, though.

    Almost all of my life I have been laughed at and basically told that I'm not good enough for them - relationship wise.

    I finally found someone who seemed to accept me. For 6 years I've been a daddy to her child-from-a-previous-relationship. For 6 years I've tried to live up to my own expectations.

    I have always always suspected that I wasn't good enough for her and that she was just stringing me along as I've been convenient to her.

    And now this.
     
  6. JasonC

    JasonC New Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    It just confirms that I really am not good enough for anyone.
     
  7. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    If she's prepared to risk the marriage in this way, it shows that she is the one who isn't good enough for you. You honestly deserve better than being treated like this, but at the same time, checking her fb account you dont trust her.

    I do wonder how much trust has changed since this old flame came back around, but a conversation with her is what is needed. Whatever the outcome, there will be support from the people on here if they know what to say.
     
  8. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    I am sorry to hear what happened. YOU are GOOD enough, it sounds like she and this other guy are the ones not worth love.
    You sound a very kind and considerate man with a deep heart, taking on her child and loving her these past 6 years.
    People laugh at us when they feel insecure about themselves, its a kind of bullying tactic, they do it to try and appease their own downfalls and not feeling good. Its a NASTY thing to do and you deserve much better than people like this in your life.
    Have you found out what actually happened saturday night or not?
    Do you feel you wish to stay with her now, if she has slept with someone else, could there be any trust?
    Do you REALLY think she was just stringing you along, what makes you think this?
    Hope I can help in someway, do keep posting and telling us how things are. Take care.
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    In my mind, what happened seems to confirm that she's the one not good enough for you. Nobody deserves to be hurt in this way. I hope you're able to have a conversation with her soon to find out exactly what went on.
     
  10. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    "You checked her FB account, so you don't trust her." - Stop saying this. Seriously, knock it off. Yeah, no shit. People tend to get a little suspicious when a spouse is seeing an old fuck buddy and goes back to their place, isn't on time when you're there to pick them up, and doesn't have any conversation whatsoever to share with you afterward. Not even any bullshit excuses, like, "oh, it was just so nice to reconnect!"

    OP, I would confront your wife about this. There's no use in sulking. I don't think cheating warrants a breakup in every situation, but either way, it would be nice to know why she cheated on you. Sometimes, we just want something different. It might not have anything to do with inadequacy. Studies support the idea that women cheat for emotional reasons and men cheat for physical ones, so maybe she was just feeling unloved or something.
     
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Re: I'm freaking it right now, I'm pretty sure the wife was having sex with another l

    You need to open the lines of communication. Right now you have suspicions. They are warranted but not confirmed. Once you know the whole story you can decide where to go from there. Either way, the two of you have issues to be worked out.
     
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