I was on MySpace a little while ago...and "Master" posted a bulletin that said something about him thinking of some other girl.... I feel sick inside now, naturally. It just...doesn't seem fair. I did everything he asked. I was very obedient. I even went against my parents...my family to be with him and please him. I wrote him countless letters...I gave him everything. And I know it's good that he's moved away. I know it is, but why is it that some other girl is on his mind when he knows good and damn well all that I've sacrificed?!! It just..doesn't make any sense. I didn't want to skip school to come see him. He convinced me to come to him. I didn't want to experience anything sexual until after I'm married. He's ruined those initials as well. The night he moved I cried so hard I passed out. Then that next week I cried myself to sleep every night. I missed him. His voice. His domination. I still feel like I need him to at least..."act" like he cares... I'm about to cry right now. I was with him for three, almost four years. It seems so impossible for me to move on and let it all go, especially seeing him move on. It hurts so much. He did me so wrong, but I don't care. I want him to pretend again, but he's finished with me. This toy no lonfer serves the purpose of entertainment. How could he DO this?!!! Did he not read my words? I was as sincere as I possibly could have been! It's not fair! For these reasons, and some others, I just don't feel like it anymore. Living. It's pointless. I've lost. I see that now. My all was not good enough. I'm worthless. No matter how hard I try to escape from how he makes me feel, it catches me. Consumes me. I feel so alone.