I'm frightened of moving on...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ghetofabgurl89, Jun 13, 2008.

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  1. I was on MySpace a little while ago...and "Master" posted a bulletin that said something about him thinking of some other girl....

    I feel sick inside now, naturally.

    It just...doesn't seem fair. I did everything he asked. I was very obedient. I even went against my parents...my family to be with him and please him. I wrote him countless letters...I gave him everything. And I know it's good that he's moved away. I know it is, but why is it that some other girl is on his mind when he knows good and damn well all that I've sacrificed?!!

    It just..doesn't make any sense. I didn't want to skip school to come see him. He convinced me to come to him.

    I didn't want to experience anything sexual until after I'm married. He's ruined those initials as well.

    The night he moved I cried so hard I passed out. Then that next week I cried myself to sleep every night. I missed him. His voice. His domination. I still feel like I need him to at least..."act" like he cares...

    I'm about to cry right now.

    I was with him for three, almost four years. It seems so impossible for me to move on and let it all go, especially seeing him move on. It hurts so much. He did me so wrong, but I don't care. I want him to pretend again, but he's finished with me.

    This toy no lonfer serves the purpose of entertainment.

    How could he DO this?!!! Did he not read my words? I was as sincere as I possibly could have been! It's not fair!

    For these reasons, and some others, I just don't feel like it anymore. Living. It's pointless. I've lost. I see that now. My all was not good enough. I'm worthless. No matter how hard I try to escape from how he makes me feel, it catches me. Consumes me.

    I feel so alone.
     
  2. frankie626

    frankie626 Active Member

    U were too good for him to begin with.. Don't let him get you down. Ur single, ur young, U have the rest of ur life to settle down and find someone thats right for you. Have some fun, go out and meet people.. =)
     
  3. ColdSummer

    ColdSummer Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about that. I know how it feels. As hard as it is, you need to find the strength to move past him. To forget the good times, and replace them with the bad. Don't hate him or love him, create neutral feelings. He obviously doesn't deserve your worry over him. Don't let this keep controlling your life. if you need to talk PM me.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It Sounds like he has left for good. You are going to go thru stages of greiving. You will eventually see that he wasn't mature. You obviously grew up and wanted to plan your future together. Mr. Right is out there,and once you get past the grief you will open your eyes and see what you were missing out on.
    Obvious you still feel for him, Thats understandable. I can't promise anything only you can make your own decisions. Hell my ex and me have beenapart for around twenty years. I still have feelings for her she is my daughters mother. Do I make any sence?? You will get past this. I hope this helps a little...:chopper:
     
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