im fucked...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by John6491, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    I feel so unnoticed.. unwanted... and just plain worthless right now... i know i am not unnoticed because my family and fucking people at school have there eyes on me because of my mom... but i still feel left out... usually im not feeling to left out but i am tonight...

    I have been freaking out alot and i have been breaking stuff in my room because im so stressed/frustrated with what is going on with my mom... i mean my wall has a hole in it... there is a ripped down poster... i ripped a pair of pants to pieces for fucking NO REASON.... but oh well my life is fucked anyways.. no point in trying to get better... i promised myself i will stay alive untill my mom passes away but whenever that happens i will prob go downhill from there...

    I'm actually starting to do drugs.. getting my hands on some opium.. ectacy.. and some weed for 4/20 (national weed smoking day) and shrooms.. almost forgot that... im really getting worse... not going to get better don't fucking tell me i will...

    Most people are noticing im really depressed some of my teachers and my dad want me to go talk to some councilor or therapist which im to afraid to talk to them... im not eating good anymore... gone like a day and a half with no food so far and im about to go to sleep.... im not cutting as much but when i do cut im doing as much damage as i can when i do cut... im going to shut up now...
     
  2. Been there. You might not believe it however it's true. Some of my favorite metal bands actually encourage the destruction of inanimate objects for recreational therapy. I'd like to say more about the rest of what you're doing. Everything I say would be considered a trigger or method... which I guess are not allowed.