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Im fucked........

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Shifter, Jul 6, 2009.

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  1. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    i got over being suicidal and im still depressed......should i even live anymore? Life loves to fuck with me, giving me talents that don't aid me. I used to be amazing at video games but im a fat blob now. 16 and my retched life is over, my computer is pissing me off, i feel abandoned by my so called "friends", and life even gave me what lots of people want and i feel hollow about it. Fate decided to give me animation talent and it ended up screwing me. Too many people care about me now cause im fairly well noticed on youtube. I really don't give a crap about it anymore and things aren't looking up in my life. I neither possess the will, nor the interest to work out and get a good look going cause no one would want me anyway. In my area all girls seem to want is skinny gang banger , rap wannabe idiots who screw anyhting that walks. I am a fat hairy nerd with poor physical condition(even by American standards D:) I know i'll die lonely, so whats the point of waiting it out and dieing an old lonely mentally abused man. fucked by life for a straight decade. I know things happen, but its been a big string for a goddamn decade. I hated life, i hate it now, and most likely will always hate it............im weak,fat,lonely,and nothing without a computer, Also im bitter and anger at this miserable rock....i dunno why i even try, its obvious nothing but suicide would work......................
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No your depressed You need to go to your doctor and get help. Get some medication that will increase you desire to help yourself. You say your only 16 time to start thinking okay i hate my life lets change it. No desire well thats because your depressed get on medication depression will lift. Get into a program swimming walking anything that will make you feel better. You say you have computer skills look into getting into courses that will lead you into a career in this area. You are young don't wait until your 50 to do something do it now. Call your doctor and get help for yourself start changing now No one can help you unless you want them too. so go get help and start being happy not fucked up. Please you are so young time to change now.
  3. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    it seems no matter how hard i try i will always suffer this....im so sick of this retched rock.......and i wish i was ignorant. stupid people are so happy 'cause they don't know facts that change their entire outlook on life. O how i wish i was ignorant......
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Life can be hard sometimes. You know there are women out there who love bigger men. And the same goes for girls. I'm a chubby girl and I do attract attention. I used to feel like you, that no one would love me or want me, but by chance I got noticed and realised that there are people out there who will love you for who you are. the thing is to be confident and be yourself.

    there is hope, even for us no matter how chubby we are...

    I agree with Mary that maybe you should see a therapist or a doctor and explain what you feel...they can help...it wont be a miracle cure but it can give a great boost...
  5. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    where i am, girls look at me like im some kind of rapist, no one would even give me chance, i really want to die. I also get constant mood swings
  6. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Do you try talking to any girls or do you just assume they don't like you?
  7. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    they walk away and tell me to get lost or say im spoken for. all this right after i say hi....sick of this life..................
  8. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Well you can give up and never get a girl or keep trying and eventually get one.
  9. Manny.Prime

    Manny.Prime Member

    suck it up princess
  10. CPessimist

    CPessimist Well-Known Member

    if you don't like your appearance, fix it!
  11. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    I was like you all of jr high. I still have all the same depression except i lost 50 pounds due to heavy drinking, cigarette smoking and skipping meals. Trust me i'm worse off now then i use to be. At least when i was fat i wasn't a boring person. MY advice is just start walking everywhere. I mean at least 5 miles a day of walking. You'll slim down over time.
  12. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    you do realize i am a male. right?

    i neither posses the will nor ability to do that.....

    @A Box of Chocolates:
    thanks. I'm sorry bout that....
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2009
  13. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    How do you expect to attract a girl if you can't even be bothered with making yourself attractive?
  14. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    i already have given up so i don't bother anymore.....to await death......soon my outside will match my inside and i slowly wither to nothing unless i kill myself.....:sad:
  15. kyle123

    kyle123 Member

    that was cold
  16. bright1

    bright1 Well-Known Member

    Without telling you to suck it up or something equally unhelpful, can I suggest that you do something different? Find a charitable cause you can work for. It's been proven (really) that few things will make you feel better than helping other people. Call up your local United Way or whatever does the same thing in your area and ask where you can volunteer.

    Hang in there. It only seems like your life is over because you've lived so little of it, although I'm sure it doesn't seem that way to you. You have plenty of time to make a change and get things turned around. Be patient with yourself, okay?
  17. kyle123

    kyle123 Member

    you could try camps ive met most of my gfs thier
  18. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    an interesting idea but i beg to differ about the living part. I lived so much within these 16 years, I got my ass handed to me and pounded like a tenderized piece of meat in school, i almost rebroke a limb of an adult in a cast on propose, i was nearly jailed, murdered and becoming a murderer, i faced so much rejection and gave up on taking care of myself. I only won 1 fight in my entire life. it was when i was 6, this 5 year old ass hole was kicking sand in my little brother's face and my little bro was barely 3 years of age at the time. I beat this kid senseless, and i enjoyed every moment of it. I even saw the look in his eyes when he looked into mine. That expression was the true sense of fear, he saw me as a threat worse than hell itself, in that moment i was the scariest thing in his universe, i beat him senseless and wanted that feeling again, too bad my life was shit from there on. and i expirenced what i put that toddler through 15 times again. then through out school when i wasn't failing classes, being harassed by staff, or being checked out by my gym teacher, i was being ridiculed by those ass hole children. oh the pain i feel when i breathe.........its not fair. Im fucking sick of this rock........
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