I'm fucking done.

^ Title, i'm sick of not being good enough for anybody and i'm sick of being a 25 year old loser. Sorry, I'll reword that i'm sick of being a 25 year old loser to everybody else. I'm 25 years old, I've never had a girlfriend in my life. Never felt boobs, kissed a girl nothing. I'm not gay or a pedophile and i'm attracted to girls just fine. I just seem to feel isolated from them. I have no "real life" friends they're all online and everybody thinks i'm a loser for that, and I spend 99% of my day on the computer playing video games, coding or other activities. So i'm most definitely a tech geek I love "pimping" out my computer and doing things to it. And... i'm happy. But i'm not happy in a way. It tears my family apart because they don't think i'm happy. And i'm not ready for the world despite being self employed and able to make enough to go to school. And... everybody thinks going to school is the biggest joke in the world.

I know if I ever had a girlfriend that most of my depression would probably melt away but how am I going to take care of a girlfriend when I can't even take care of myself? My hygeine is non existant because everybodys got me so depressed that I don't even give a fuck anymore. I don't do all the pimping anymore or video games or coding or well.... anything.

So, i'm just done. I lack the drive to even remotely continue anymore and I won't be missed by anybody because nobody even knows who the fuck I am.

I don't really see a point in living anymore when i'm worthless and unacceptable to everyone else.

 

your parents your family would miss you don't kid yourself about that. You still have plenty of time for you to meet that someone. the thing is you have to be stable you have to want to get out amongst people to meet her. join a club join an activity a class even art whatever but get out so you can find that someone you want. Get on meds get therapy and get well so others see you as being strong and independant and capable of having a relationship

 

Yeah but the thing is. I don't want to be. I won't be and I refuse to be a member of the "real world". You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

 

My best suggestion: Help yourself. I haven't taken a shower in 3+ days because I'm so down right now, (disgusting, I know), but I resolved that I refuse to let something like loneliness keep me from life. There's so much that waits for you, just waiting for you to grab it and embrace it and call it your own. All you need to do is reach. Maybe find a hobby to coexist with that which you already have, and connect with people. See if you can meet with some online friends in person. If you do decide to go to school, you could find some awesome friends and connections to last a lifetime. It's all up to you!
So, jumpstart yourself. Boost up your morale doing what you love. And get out there and live life to the fullest! As soon as you help yourself, you'll be able to help others too.

Huh...I'm surprised I could actually write something like that. I'm the closest thing you'll get to Negative Nelly, no joke. I went through an awful depression not too long ago, killing both my grades in school and my general being. It was not what one may call "fun," but the way I got out of it was through my friends. So I can't help but suggest the same to you. You ARE important and you are in no way unacceptable. As soon as you find the strength to get up and get out, you'll find the way to love life, to live life, and to be the very best you can be. I myself have not gotten there yet, but I'm close enough to see it. So, moral of my unnecessarily-long post: Help yourself, get out, and be awesome!

(My apologies for the use of cheesy and cliche material.)

[Edit: I'm also taking some medication, which may explain my awkward and abnormal jolly mood. It's some herbal stuff my parents picked up, called 5-HTP, that boosts the brain's levels of serotonin. My cousin swears by it, and it's working for me as well. And as for morale-boosters, maybe some uplifting music? I love listening to music, so if you want I could give you some songs and artists I'd recommend. Just an after-thought.]

 

nevermind

"Fuck you all" thread is enough for me to refrain from casting pearls.