I'm full of good advice I can't take myself

I've dealt with insomnia off and on since I was very young---we're talking 5 or 6 years old, perhaps even earlier. I'm full of great advice for people who suffer from insomnia, but I can't seem to fix it for myself. I can't even seem to bring myself to do the things I know I should do to help me fall asleep.

I took sleep aids for a while, but then I found I didn't need them. Now I feel like I probably need them again. I hate to admit that I've become more and more dependent on narcotics, benzos, or alcohol to help me sleep. I try really, really hard not to take something every night, and I try to switch it up, but I feel like maybe a psychological dependence isn't limited to a single drug... :sad:

At any rate, I've been trying to sleep for a while, and stuff is weighing on me. I'm trying not to take something, but I actually have to get up in the morning and be active most of the day (including making a 3 hour drive), and I am worried that if I don't get to sleep soon, I'll be pretty dysfunctional tomorrow (later today...?).

At the same time, while part of me is objectively trying to avoid dependence and all of that, the part that's actually feeling emotion is feeling...indifference. I've been having a lot of trouble feeling like anything matters at all, and it makes it really hard to care whether I take pills or not. Or get addicted or not. Or have any kind of future or not....

By the way, night time is the worst for me... :cry2:

 

funny how we can care for so many others butnot ourselves I don'tknow why that is. I know night time is hard time for many here. I hope you talk to your doctor and get on something safe to help you sleep naturally okay hugs to you