I'm full of hate :(

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pbobble, Nov 5, 2011.

  1. pbobble

    pbobble Well-Known Member

    Well my depressions finally been easing up thankfully. But my last issue seems to be that I'm full of hate and bitterness.

    I used to be such a kind person before all this, people would always say so, and I worked with vunerable people and was really caring. But now I'm hate filled, its not like me and its not healthy.

    I hate the people that find things easy. I hear about people I used to go to school doing well in their life, happy family and children and I think I hope your child gets cancer, or your wife dies. I'm ashamed I feel this way, but I still do.

    I look at happy people and I sneer at them. I can't really go out to nightclubs etc, because the potential anger that I've got is going to mean I end up fighting with someone. I've got such a short fuse atm, if someone has a go at me in the street or something a fight is going to happen.
    I hate my ex girlfriend, she didn't even do anything that bad to me, I just hate the fact that shes moved on and found happiness.

    This hate and anger is pretty much the only one of my problems that ain't getting better. I'm just bitter and angry often for no reason, even if no ones wronged me.

    I even had a strong desire to kick a cat I saw in the street, I didn't do it, but I feel bad, why would I want to hurt an animal, its shameful.

    I think writing about this now is giving me some perspective though, If anyones experienced this and has any advice or tips, please let me know.
  2. Obsessive

    Obsessive Well-Known Member

    Same experience here, except I've felt this way as long as I can remember. I have no advice I can offer. All I can do is bottle it up and hide it because I've learned that if I don't it only makes situations much, much harder.
  3. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Friend and Antiquities Friend Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Have you considered an anger management class? Could help.

    Meanwhile maybe some way to express that anger inside that isn't hurtful.

    Writing, art, a punching bag, anything to get it out.

    I wish you well.
  4. Obsessive

    Obsessive Well-Known Member

    In most cases expressing anger does nothing to reduce it. If anything, according to a study by Brad J. Bushman in 2002, it only exacerbates it. Bushman concluded in his paper testing the anger-reducing potential of punching a bag that it was like pouring gasoline onto a fire.