Well, Friday was another attempt. 2nd time in the hospital and my 3rd attempt. I'm getting closer and closer to it being the last one. First time was just xanax and was out for 2 days that I don't remember but everyone said I was fine. Second time was <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. I started to pass out from the xanax before I could do much damage to my wrists. Was rushed to the ER and spent 5 days in psych. Learned a lot those 5 days and thought that would be it, no more and never again. Well, lets preface all these attempt a little bit. About 3 months ago now my wife of 10 years started seeing another man. We've been separated a little over 2 months now. Friday the owners called me in for a meeting. Said they've been as understanding as they could be over these times with time off and such. Said they've hit their limit and I'm on a 4 week probation. I have to prove my job is a full time job and that I can do the job. So I go home Friday and my wife is there, not supposed to be at the house. I breakdown saying I need my wife right now that I may be losing my job and could really use my wife for support. She didn't want to have anything to do with me. She started to ignore our 2 girls (2 and 7) saying she was busy while getting more stuff together so she can leave. At this point I was furious and started calling my support to calm me down... 1st #.. no answer. 2nd my parents... no answer. 3rd I finally have someone on the phone but at this point I think I was to far gone. Wife came into the bedroom to get some CDs and I flipped saying your CDs are more important than the girls that you are now ignoring?! I took all the CDs and threw them into the yard. As she went out to pick them up I got my shoes on and started to stomp on them. I then realised I totally fucked up again. We were making head way with being civil and talking the past week and here I go and fuck it up again. So I immediately got the razor, got in the tub and started to slowly cut. After a few minutes, there it was, I hit it. Medics came and I said I need help, could barely walk outside. the whole ambulance trip to the ER I was contemplating jumping out the back of the ambulance and let the following cop car run me over. Once at the ER I couldn't stop crying while thinking about my girls and why do I keep doing this do them and myself?! 3 days in psych again, this time in the more severe section. No pencils, pens and such. I was miserable about the whole time because I got nothing out of it. Honestly, it was only me and 1 lady who were "sane" everyone else was nucking futs. Saw a few people taken down, tackled, strapped down. The works. I got out yesterday and all day at home alone I couldn't stop thinking about it again, my wife having fun with another man. I'm trying to tell myself not to do it again but I know I can't honestly say that to myself.