This marks the 8th day of my one week relapse and I'm afraid I'm losing control. I use now sharper tools and more cuts, I count them now, I feel I have to hit all least 205 strokes. I feel obsessed. Afterwards feels like a high and I have bad anxiety if I don't, leading to multiple sessions a day. I wake up with blood crusted pants and then when I move them then I end up with a bloody mess which stains my pants, bed, socks, and floor now. -____- I will get caught no doubt. Am I just lost?