im giving myself til next weekend

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by faithink, Feb 9, 2014.

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  1. faithink

    faithink Member

    i wish i could say that posting here helps, but its just a forum, just as cold as a text. it just seems like im talking to my computer.

    nothing is getting better, and over this past week it has just gotten worse, im tired of it. i am single and over the past couple of months i joined a dateing site for the mentally ill. it made me worse. i didn't even so much as find anyone to talk to, and they play games in those sites, multiple profiles, trolls, and people who are there to scam you for your money. i wish i had never joined, because now im even worse.

    today i made a plan to to end it this next weekend, im tying up loose ends this week, im just scared that it wont work like all the other times. ive lived through some outrageous overdoses in the pas. the last time was 7 years ago. and i just woke up in the hospital 2 days later. there were times that i would just wake up the next morning. im afraid that the same thing will happen this time.

    i cant do this life alone anymore
     
  2. Teerak

    Teerak Member

    I can understand the pain Fai. I have tried also. I cant support your decision because this is a "help" each other site. All I can say is if you are at all functional ie; can work, make it through a day etc to hold off on your decision. You and I both know how hard it is to be successful at it. So chances are you will just hurt your body and make things worse. I am at my wits end also as I can not stay out of bed. I wake up, get up then im right back in bed all day and I dont sleep, I cant as Im hyperinsomniac, Major Depressive and GAD. I am broken and am just a burden to people. Spent so much money trying to fix myself, figure out the chronic fatigue, depression blah blah. Moneys gone, cant work, disability system in the USA is so unjust and takes so long its a joke.
     
  3. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    You joined a date site....so rgat shiws you have some desire for afyture doesnt it?

    There are plenty of people that as you say, arent genuine on line. But there are also plenty that are.

    Perhaps if you could look again and see how it goes for a while longer and chat here it may help.
     
  4. faithink

    faithink Member

    yeah but the site was kinda messing me up. i knew better too. it was just one big trigger after another. you see, i think of suicide every day, that's normal for me. and it has just been something that i have learned to put up with. i have a steady predictable life, because when anything surprising happens, im a complete mess. those suicidal thoughts become quite tempting when i feel panic or fear. but now its almost like it wont let me find someone and stop doing this alone.
     
  5. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Probably best to stick with chat for a while & see how you feel as posting in forum or pm-ing is delayed and you can easily think people are ignoring you Faithink - my pm open for you if you feel need to chat

    tc Faithink

    :freehug:
     
  6. faithink

    faithink Member

    today i also joined a forum for Christians, im hoping it helps. things seems to have evened out a bit through the past couple of days since i posted here. still not very hopeful, and in some ways feel more doomed than ever. normally i will silently give myself a wait time. i find this the best way to control it when it gets out of control. my past attempts have hardly been planned, and very spur of the moment.
     
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